birth story

Elias, a.k.a. Baby G, is sleeping peacefully next to me in his bassinet so I thought I'd pick up where I left off and at least get the blow-by-blow account of the rest of my labor started. It's taken me a few shifts to write this and on day four of this new life, so many of the details are already a blur. And of course I have a million other thoughts and reflections about the past few days, but here it is:

Let's see, where were we. So I guess after I posted last, Neal and I started to keep track of the contractions a little more closely. In between I made sure my bag was packed and just generally tried to get little things done. It's funny because I've felt so ready for this baby but by the end of the week the apartment could use a good cleaning, we're likely running out of groceries, and I haven't paid the bills yet. I thought about getting a head start on all this weekend stuff on Friday but felt like I'd be wearing myself out prematurely. Might as well save some stuff for the weekend, right? Except that I essentially went into labor that night and couldn't seem to get much done between contractions by Saturday afternoon.

By about 2 or so, my contractions were still pretty irregular, but getting stronger and coming every 2 to 6 minutes. I thought it was at least time to call the doctor and get his advice (my usual doctor not being on call this weekend, which I knew about). After I explained how my night and morning had gone he said it sounded like I was possibly in early labor. Possibly in early labor? At least, I'd hope, if not moving into active labor! At the same time I didn't want to go to the hospital too early and be sent home, so after reconsidering, I called him back and said we'd wait it out a few more hours, see if and how things picked up. But at that point he suggested we come in anyway, Baby G being overdue, to at least be checked out as far as dilation, heart rate, etc. So we packed up the car and headed to the hospital.

By the time we got admitted and up to triage, it was about 4:30 p.m. Not much had changed but things definitely weren't subsiding, as I've heard often happens during the transition from laboring at home to going to the hospital. The triage nurse hooked me up to the monitors and checked my cervix. She said I was a solid 2, maybe 2 1/2, but I swear she was manually dilating me or something, the exam was so painful. It didn't help that I started having a contraction while she did that. She seemed pretty excited by my increased pain. "We like pain in this part of the hospital," she said. "No pain, no gain, right?" Yeah, whatever. Needless to say I was disappointed I hadn't made more progress. I knew it was likely they were going to send us home. But the doctor suggested we augment my labor to speed up the process a bit. We weren't absolutely opposed to augmentation or medical intervention, but we were hoping to do it "au naturel." My main concern was that any sort of augmentation or intervention would lead to a c-section. On the other hand, I'd already gone one night without sleep; I wasn't sure I could labor through another night and be expected to make it through active labor, transition, and most importantly, pushing.

So we went with the doctor's suggestion. We got settled into a labor & delivery room by about 6. They started to monitor the baby's heart rate and my contractions and set me up on an IV. The nurse started the pitocin and by about 6:45 the doctor came around to break my water. The pitocin kicked in fast and hard and he only had a couple minutes to break my water between contractions. I'd only progressed to just shy of 3 centimeters by then and the pain was already almost unbearable. I really thought I couldn't make it in the middle of each contraction. I pretty much made up my mind after the first few that I'd be saying yes to the epidural. The nurse (who was awesome throughout the entire process) helped me get through the half-dozen or so intense contractions while we waited for the anesthesiologist. The "he he he hu" technique she helped me with worked, I guess, as it gave me something to concentrate on doing during the contractions, which were coming at about two to three minutes apart. There was little time to rest in between and I could tell I was losing control, arching my back and tensing up everywhere. Half a dozen contractions doesn't sound like much, but it was the most painful 15-20 minutes of my life.

The epidural process went very smoothly. I hardly felt the sting of novicaine in my back and of course little else of the process after that. I was good and numb/tingly within about 15 minutes. Fortunately, they'd turned off the pitocin during the process and then cranked it back up again once the epidural had taken effect. I could still feel the contractions but the pain was nothing like it had been 20 minutes earlier. And of course being able to feel the contractions was a good thing in the end because I knew when to push, especially considering they never really got that part of the monitor working. I could tell I was having a contraction, but the machine wasn't registering any of it.

I forget exactly when it was now...maybe around 8:30 or so, and I forget why or if it as just a routine check, but they checked my cervix again and by then I'd progressed to 5 centimeters, 100% effaced and the baby was at -1 station. Both the doctor and nurse were surprised and pleased by my progress. I felt like I'd gotten a good grade on a test. They kept turning me from side to side to try to get the contractions to register. I can't really remember what else went on during those few hours, but the time passed really quickly. All I remember was watching the t.v. occasionally, which remained on throughout the labor and delivery. I think it was on the Discovery channel. At some point the nurse brought me juice that I never really had the chance to drink until after Elias had been born.

Because they were having such a hard time with picking up the contractions, around 9:30 the doctor decided he wanted to insert some sort of internal monitor...I forget what he called it. As the nurse began to set that up, he checked my cervix again and said something along the lines of, "Forget about the monitor, the baby's head is right there." I was shocked how quickly things were going. I asked if that meant it was time to push and he kind of laughed and said yes. Yay! There was some setup over the next few minutes and the nurse instructed me on how to push, as I felt the contractions building. They continued to fuss with both monitors but essentially I began the pushing process when I felt the contraction, as mild as it was. They intensified toward the end and I started to feel really exhausted; it seemed like Neal, the nurse, and the doctor (when he decided to peek in) were all very excited with each push from what felt like fairly early on. I couldn't understand why they were so excited and yet I continued to have to push, but the encouragement was great. I pushed for about an hour and a half and Elias came out, head and all, in one push at 11:14 p.m.

I could go on about the recovery portion of our experience but I should probably take advantage of the last half-hour or so before Elias will likely wake and want to be fed to catch up on some much-needed rest. More to follow, although I can't promise when! And it's true what everyone says; they're so worth every minute of the process, every hour of sleep you lose, every pound you gain. Despite only getting about three hours of sleep last night, I felt downright joyous to wake up and see my baby beginning to get ready for the next round. It's like the biggest crush you've ever had.

By the way, I'll post more pics later. The entire process feels a bit overwhelming right now!