ups, downs, and firsts

We subjected Elias to his second sponge bath yesterday evening (when do baths become enjoyable to babies?). We would have documented the first sponge bath, enjoyed by all last week, but the experience really demanded the full attention of both Neal and me. Documentation can be tricky with all these firsts.

In terms of other notable events, the umbilical cord stump fell off at the doctor's visit on Saturday. That happened after Elias went numbers 1 and 2 (twice) all over myself and the nurse attempting to take his temperature. I think we must have disturbed it in our hasty attempts to keep him covered. I hope that's not the kind of thing new parents are supposed to keep because I'm pretty certain it got wrapped up in the table paper and wad of paper towels used to clean up the mess.

Otherwise, I can't speak for Neal but I'm pretty much a basket case. I'm enjoying every minute getting to know this new person, but I have to say I've never felt so incompetent in my life. When he's awake and alert I'm not sure exactly what to do with him. We've got music, stuffed animals, books, but as soon as he sneezes I'm worried we're over-stimulating him. And when he sleeps beyond when he should be just about ready for another meal, I wonder why he's so sleepy. He sleeps really well in his bassinet, but I feel guilty if I take advantage of what a good sleeper he is to get stuff done (like update this blog, for example). Neal picked up a sling carrier during a Babies 'R' Us run yesterday, so that I can "wear the baby" and hopefully not feel so guilty about taking advantage of his nap time.

As for feeding, the breastfeeding episodes have dwindled a bit in the past couple of days, I have to admit. I'm not sure he has full-blown "nipple confusion" but getting the same stuff from a bottle is just a lot easier, no matter how much they claim the nipple is as close to the real thing as a fake nipple can be. If we work at it, we can usually get him latched on, but he's incredibly frustrated by that time and of course that breaks my heart. We have a meeting with a lactation consultant later today, so we'll see if she can help, but I have to admit I'm not feeling terribly optimistic. At least I can pump and deliver the same stuff, but it is a frustrating thing when it doesn't come quite as naturally as I'd always thought it'd be.

On the other hand, it's only been a little over a week, and everyone tells me it can take up to six weeks to really get the hang of it, so I guess it's still too early to give up. As for the basket case syndrome, I've signed up for a mom's group that begins next Thursday. This is something I wasn't sure I'd want to do when I was still pregnant, but I can already see that having a support network of other new moms will probably help keep me sane over the next few months.

Now on to that resting while the baby rests thing everyone tells me to do. I think I'll try that out...

one week

Elias is already a week old today...well, as of about 11:14 tonight. We went back to the pediatrician for a weight check this morning and our sleepy little "procrastinator," as we might categorize him in breastfeeding terms, has gained a whopping 15 ounces in the past two days, bringing him to within just an ounce of his birth weight. I am of course a very proud mama right about now. Of course, we still have the art of breastfeeding to master, but at least we know the boy can eat. I'm exploring various options right now, but hope to get together with a lactation consultant on Monday.

In other news, my feet are looking a lot more like my own again and a little less like they belong to Fred Flinstone (and you thought the swelling was bad during pregnancy!) and I can even wear my wedding ring again. I'm not sure I can take it off now, but it seems both Elias and I are making a lot of progress. I have so much other stuff I'd like to jot down, so to speak, but it looks like he might not need to be roused from sleep to eat this cycle. Stay tuned!

oh, what a night

Man, breastfeeding is hard work! Elias and I have been having a little bit of difficulty in the feeding department and at his first pediatrician appointment yesterday, we discovered that he's lost a bit more weight than they'd like. He's down a whole pound, which of course sent me into one of several daily sobbing episodes, but the pediatrician wasn't overly concerned...yet. She recommended we pump and feed him from a bottle for a couple of days to get his weight, hydration, and energy up and then go back to the breast. And he's been doing great. I was a little weepy after the first bottle, but he's still breastfed a couple of times in between, and he seems to already be benefiting from not having to work quite so hard for his nourishment. We've had to rouse him from active sleep for feedings when he seems to want to nap for more than three hours. I know that might sound like a blessing, and going for four to five hours at night between feedings would be okay. But during the day, ideally we'd like to feed him according to his cues, not have to wake him up to do it. Like most newborns, he seems to want to take longer naps during the day, but he's doing better. The first couple of nights at home he was up for three to four hours of eating, "active alert" time, and crying. But last night we had a couple of hours of mostly alert time between two closer feedings late in the evening. We were all in bed by about 11 and up at about 5:45 this morning. But he only woke up once in between; again for two closer feedings with about an hour or so of mostly alert time in between. We got a solid 4 1/2 hours of sleep overall and it's amazing how much better I'm feeling this morning. I even took a shower and had breakfast and it's only 9:30!

Of course, who knows if this will continue. I'm sure it's too early to see a pattern developing, but I'll take what I can get. We go back to the pediatrician for a weight check tomorrow morning and we'll assess the breast/bottle situation from there. Here's a picture of Elias in his car seat, ready to go on his first outing since returning home from the hospital.


Precious, ain't he?

birth story

Elias, a.k.a. Baby G, is sleeping peacefully next to me in his bassinet so I thought I'd pick up where I left off and at least get the blow-by-blow account of the rest of my labor started. It's taken me a few shifts to write this and on day four of this new life, so many of the details are already a blur. And of course I have a million other thoughts and reflections about the past few days, but here it is:

Let's see, where were we. So I guess after I posted last, Neal and I started to keep track of the contractions a little more closely. In between I made sure my bag was packed and just generally tried to get little things done. It's funny because I've felt so ready for this baby but by the end of the week the apartment could use a good cleaning, we're likely running out of groceries, and I haven't paid the bills yet. I thought about getting a head start on all this weekend stuff on Friday but felt like I'd be wearing myself out prematurely. Might as well save some stuff for the weekend, right? Except that I essentially went into labor that night and couldn't seem to get much done between contractions by Saturday afternoon.

By about 2 or so, my contractions were still pretty irregular, but getting stronger and coming every 2 to 6 minutes. I thought it was at least time to call the doctor and get his advice (my usual doctor not being on call this weekend, which I knew about). After I explained how my night and morning had gone he said it sounded like I was possibly in early labor. Possibly in early labor? At least, I'd hope, if not moving into active labor! At the same time I didn't want to go to the hospital too early and be sent home, so after reconsidering, I called him back and said we'd wait it out a few more hours, see if and how things picked up. But at that point he suggested we come in anyway, Baby G being overdue, to at least be checked out as far as dilation, heart rate, etc. So we packed up the car and headed to the hospital.

By the time we got admitted and up to triage, it was about 4:30 p.m. Not much had changed but things definitely weren't subsiding, as I've heard often happens during the transition from laboring at home to going to the hospital. The triage nurse hooked me up to the monitors and checked my cervix. She said I was a solid 2, maybe 2 1/2, but I swear she was manually dilating me or something, the exam was so painful. It didn't help that I started having a contraction while she did that. She seemed pretty excited by my increased pain. "We like pain in this part of the hospital," she said. "No pain, no gain, right?" Yeah, whatever. Needless to say I was disappointed I hadn't made more progress. I knew it was likely they were going to send us home. But the doctor suggested we augment my labor to speed up the process a bit. We weren't absolutely opposed to augmentation or medical intervention, but we were hoping to do it "au naturel." My main concern was that any sort of augmentation or intervention would lead to a c-section. On the other hand, I'd already gone one night without sleep; I wasn't sure I could labor through another night and be expected to make it through active labor, transition, and most importantly, pushing.

So we went with the doctor's suggestion. We got settled into a labor & delivery room by about 6. They started to monitor the baby's heart rate and my contractions and set me up on an IV. The nurse started the pitocin and by about 6:45 the doctor came around to break my water. The pitocin kicked in fast and hard and he only had a couple minutes to break my water between contractions. I'd only progressed to just shy of 3 centimeters by then and the pain was already almost unbearable. I really thought I couldn't make it in the middle of each contraction. I pretty much made up my mind after the first few that I'd be saying yes to the epidural. The nurse (who was awesome throughout the entire process) helped me get through the half-dozen or so intense contractions while we waited for the anesthesiologist. The "he he he hu" technique she helped me with worked, I guess, as it gave me something to concentrate on doing during the contractions, which were coming at about two to three minutes apart. There was little time to rest in between and I could tell I was losing control, arching my back and tensing up everywhere. Half a dozen contractions doesn't sound like much, but it was the most painful 15-20 minutes of my life.

The epidural process went very smoothly. I hardly felt the sting of novicaine in my back and of course little else of the process after that. I was good and numb/tingly within about 15 minutes. Fortunately, they'd turned off the pitocin during the process and then cranked it back up again once the epidural had taken effect. I could still feel the contractions but the pain was nothing like it had been 20 minutes earlier. And of course being able to feel the contractions was a good thing in the end because I knew when to push, especially considering they never really got that part of the monitor working. I could tell I was having a contraction, but the machine wasn't registering any of it.

I forget exactly when it was now...maybe around 8:30 or so, and I forget why or if it as just a routine check, but they checked my cervix again and by then I'd progressed to 5 centimeters, 100% effaced and the baby was at -1 station. Both the doctor and nurse were surprised and pleased by my progress. I felt like I'd gotten a good grade on a test. They kept turning me from side to side to try to get the contractions to register. I can't really remember what else went on during those few hours, but the time passed really quickly. All I remember was watching the t.v. occasionally, which remained on throughout the labor and delivery. I think it was on the Discovery channel. At some point the nurse brought me juice that I never really had the chance to drink until after Elias had been born.

Because they were having such a hard time with picking up the contractions, around 9:30 the doctor decided he wanted to insert some sort of internal monitor...I forget what he called it. As the nurse began to set that up, he checked my cervix again and said something along the lines of, "Forget about the monitor, the baby's head is right there." I was shocked how quickly things were going. I asked if that meant it was time to push and he kind of laughed and said yes. Yay! There was some setup over the next few minutes and the nurse instructed me on how to push, as I felt the contractions building. They continued to fuss with both monitors but essentially I began the pushing process when I felt the contraction, as mild as it was. They intensified toward the end and I started to feel really exhausted; it seemed like Neal, the nurse, and the doctor (when he decided to peek in) were all very excited with each push from what felt like fairly early on. I couldn't understand why they were so excited and yet I continued to have to push, but the encouragement was great. I pushed for about an hour and a half and Elias came out, head and all, in one push at 11:14 p.m.

I could go on about the recovery portion of our experience but I should probably take advantage of the last half-hour or so before Elias will likely wake and want to be fed to catch up on some much-needed rest. More to follow, although I can't promise when! And it's true what everyone says; they're so worth every minute of the process, every hour of sleep you lose, every pound you gain. Despite only getting about three hours of sleep last night, I felt downright joyous to wake up and see my baby beginning to get ready for the next round. It's like the biggest crush you've ever had.

By the way, I'll post more pics later. The entire process feels a bit overwhelming right now!

introducing Elias

I've started the blow-by-blow account of how my labor and delivery went, but man, time flies when you have a baby! That's right, Elias, a.k.a. Baby G these past nine months, arrived at 11:14 p.m. on Saturday night, June 21st, after a long early labor, followed by a very fast active labor and beyond. He weighed in at 7 pounds even and 19 and 1/4 inches long. Everyone's doing well. We are just in love with our new addition.

I'll keep working on the full birth story as I have little bits of time and post it as soon as it's complete. By then, of course, I'll have tons of other stuff to write about, but we'll just see how this blogging during new parenthood goes. In the meantime, here's what you really wanted to see...

in between contractions

I've got about 5 to 10 minutes to post a quick update. The very irregular menstrual like cramps of yesterday got a little more intense and a little more irregular right before I went to bed around 11. They seemed to last anywhere from 20 to 45 seconds and were coming every 10 to 15 minutes, or just as I'd start to doze off again. I did pretty well until about 3 or so, getting up often, but feeling like I was at least able to rest between contractions. After that, though, they seemed to intensify, and I felt a bit better when I got up and moved around. I took a shower and then let the shower fill the tub and sat there for a good 20 minutes or so, which helped a lot, even in the ridiculously tiny tub that we have. I think I probably should have stayed in bed a bit longer, though, because I had a hard time finding a comfortable position that would allow me to feel like I could rest in between and by about 6 this morning I was exhausted. I decided I should take a "real" shower then because I was sure I was headed straight for active labor. I was so uncomfortable standing, showering, lotioning, etc., but I think the discomfort and increased crampyness was more from fatigue than my contractions getting any more longer, stronger, or closer together, as they say. They really subsided after that so I decided I should try getting some sleep. Sure enough, as soon as I crawled in bed they returned at regular 10 minute intervals, but I was able to doze off a bit in between.

I've been up and about since 9:30 or so. The contractions almost completely subsided for close to an hour, as long as I kept a swaying motion, even while sitting. Since about 10:30 I've had another five or so, with intervals of anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes (oy vey, just had a good one that lasted about a minute, about six minutes since my last one).

So hopefully things are moving along. The downtime between contractions feels great, obviously, and the couple of periods when they've subsided I almost feel like I can actually get something done. But at the same time, I want things to progress already! It's a strange situation to be in. I'm not sure I'll be able to update the blog again, but hopefully no news means there's a baby around the corner. I'll post news whenever I can and of course if labor totally stalls, I'll have plenty of time to update!

progress

Okay, things are definitely changing. It's still very, very likely I'll have to be induced come Monday morning, but once again the menstrual-like crampy contractions started up again yesterday evening, into the night, and, for the first time this week, have continued, albeit very irregularly, all morning. I woke up about once an hour through the night, but whatever it is I'm feeling is still very manageable. More intense and painful than the two nights before, and they are downright distracting, but I can definitely function pretty normally through the 20 to 30 seconds they seem to be lasting, anywhere from about 6 or 7 to 20 minutes apart. I also woke up to a pretty exciting development that might just be a bit too graphic for blogging. And again, it doesn't mean I'm going to go into labor any minute now, but it's a pretty exciting development.

And Baby G passed both his biophysical profile ultrasound and non-stress test today with flying colors, scoring an 8 out of 8 on the BPP and everything looking good during the NST. His size is estimated to be a bit on the petite side, as our doctor put it, weighing in at about 7 pounds 4 ounces, but of course they could be off by at least a pound in either direction. I'm frankly kind of shocked, what with a history of big babies on both sides, but I'll be happy with a solid 7 pounder.

Finally, I've gone from a "fingertip" to a "loose 1" in the dilation department, about 50 to 70% effaced. That may still be modest progress, but I thought it wasn't bad for a week, especially when paired with the recent developments (sure, I was hoping she'd say a solid 2-3, but it's better than no progress at all!). If nothing else, even if nothing changes before the end of the weekend, I'm feeling a little better about how my body will respond to being induced bright and early Monday morning. I'll of course keep the blogosphere updated as long as possible.

it's good to get out

Here's the 41 week pic during our nightly walk around the neighborhood (just after the stairs, my favorite part). Earlier in the walk a car drove by and a guy (I think) yelled "yeah!" real loudly out the window. I'm not sure if he was yelling at me, or Neal, or if it was just coincidence, but I couldn't help but feel a little encouraged by it. Anyway, it's funny because I feel like my belly looks higher up than it did a week ago, when I thought it looked like maybe the baby had "dropped". Well, I guess all the speculation and hunting for clues that labor is imminent will be irrelevant in no more than a few days.

estimated due date, round 2

Yep, today's my original due date, so tomorrow Baby G will definitely, undeniably be overdue. His baby ticker avatar has even disappeared from the screen, which is somewhat unsettling. It still indicates how far along I am (41 weeks!), but there's no floating baby to be found. Guess he got bored and wandered off to find something else to do to pass the time (he's probably watching baby videos on Youtube). No biggie. Honestly, that little baby hadn't changed much for months!

Physically I do feel like things are changing this week but those feelings are usually strongest between about 3 and 7 a.m. By about lunch-time any hope that labor is imminent is dashed by feeling exactly the same as the day before. That happened again this morning, even more intense and slightly more painful than yesterday. I felt even more certain that it was the start of things and Neal and I joked about how funny it would be if he was born on his original due date. Unless labor comes on fast and strong, I don't think that's likely to happen, but I'm still holding out hope that just maybe this baby will come out on his own before my scheduled induction on Monday.

In addition to the boredom I've already blogged about a few times, I'm having a hard time occasionally controlling feelings of anxiety. He's been just about as active as ever but the kicks, jabs, and what felt like somersaults were mostly replaced awhile ago by lots of squirming and wriggling around. There can't be much room in there at this point. But as long as I feel him moving around, we're good. Occasionally, however, he has some downtime and although rarely more than an hour or two will go by without my noticing any movement, it still sends me into a mild panic when I realize I haven't felt anything for awhile. Yesterday was a little like that and the thought of having to spend the next four or five days in that state was driving me crazy. He's as squirmy as ever today, so I'm feeling much more calm and relaxed, for now, but that should give you some sense of how difficult this waiting can be (I'll be worry-free once he's outside the womb, right??). So when people advise that I enjoy these last few (bonus!) days pre-baby, I have a hard time imagining exactly living up the childless lifestyle. I've been planning and waiting a long time for this kid, and frankly, the quicker he comes out, the sooner I can have a margarita!

full moon

I don't have a whole lot to report today, at least not what I know you came here to find out. I have had what feel like mild menstrual cramps on and off since early this morning, but other than that not much has changed. I wouldn't want you thinking no news is good news (or bad news, god forbid). Nope, no news is just...no news.

Of course, tonight is a full moon, but any effect that the phases of the moon might have on the onset of labor are probably coincidental. The only legitimate thing I could find about it, via another pregnancy blog, was this study, which basically concludes that there's no difference in the number of births during the various phases of the moon. I have heard from people who work in hospitals that L&D (labor & delivery) does tend to be busier and well-staffed for that reason, but again, a lot of women are essentially in false labor, convinced it's the real thing because they know it's a full moon. Other than that, I've read on a few midwifery-type sites that there is some evidence to suggest that perhaps the moon affects the amniotic sac in the same way it affects the tide, and that women whose water breaks before they go into active labor (which doesn't happen nearly as often as movies would lead you to believe - only in about 15% of pregnancies does the water break first) are more likely to do so during the full moon. So who knows. Makes for good conversation, I guess, but I'm not putting my money on it.

if you don't have something positive to say...

...don't say anything at all. Actually, you know what, why don't you play it safe and just keep it to yourself. That's right, whatever piece of expert information you wanted to pass along to me, like how at just 1 cm dilated I'll definitely make it to my induction date, save it for the book you clearly should write about pregnancy and childbirth since you're such an expert and, on top of your expertness, have a crystal ball and can foresee exactly how the remainder of this particular gestation will play out. If only I had the guts to actually respond in that way to some of the less than helpful comments I've received since passing my due date last Thursday. On top of being very pregnant, impatient, uncomfortable, and cranky, I'm a bit of a control-freak/know-it-all. So I don't like to be told how something is going to play out, even though I realize, on some level, that I don't have any more control over the situation than these folks with, I'm sure, the best of intentions.

Anyway, needless to say I'm still playing the waiting game. We had our "post-date" ultrasound this morning and while I'll have to wait to talk with the doctor by phone or at our appointment on Friday about size estimates, fluid levels, and that sort of thing, it seems like baby G is still doing pretty well in the womb, meaning we can wait it out at least a few more days. And she confirmed that not only is he heads-down, but also occiput anterior, or facing my back, for now at least. His back generally seems to be on my right side, not my left side, which is the most ideal, but hey, I'll take what I can get. Hopefully he'll stay that way and I'll at least avoid the much-dreaded back labor.

Getting an ultrasound at this late stage is strange. The baby's way too big to get much in the way of recognizable body parts in any one image. He looks like more like a moonscape, but she was able to point out a foot here, part of an arm there, a bit of the umbilical cord, and even part of his face at one point, staring right into the ultrasound wand. And my entire belly was covered in baby-powder-scented gel by the end. I think I used an entire tree's worth of paper towels to dry off.

After a walk yesterday evening I had some pretty strong, although probably still "practice" contractions that lasted through the night, waking me up a few times. They weren't very painful but they were definitely a little different than the straight-forward tightening of the so-called Braxton Hicks, starting low and radiating up and around to my lower back. But they only lasted about 20 to 30 seconds and on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst pain imaginable, they were probably about a 1. And they'd pretty much subsided by this morning. But who knows, maybe that means things are gearing up down there.

Otherwise, you could say I'm passing the time with some serious spring-cleaning-style "nesting," although I don't think this counts as a sign that labor is necessarily imminent. I think it's more a sure sign of the onset of some serious boredom.

how did they pass the time before the Internet?

Kills some time and makes me feel slightly less grumpy (more about that in a later post perhaps).



(Thanks, Jo!)

post-date

No baby yet and although I'd still obviously love to go into labor naturally, at least there is an end in sight. In fact, my induction date of June 23rd is almost in the ten-day forecast. I can live with that.

At my doctor's appointment this morning I hadn't made much progress. Maybe a fingertip dilated, she informed me, but I didn't have my hopes up too high. So I'm scheduled for an ultrasound next Tuesday to make sure Baby G is still doing well in utero, that my fluid levels are sufficient, etc. If all goes well on Tuesday, I'll go to my next appointment as usual on Friday when, in addition to the usual routine and yet another internal exam, they'll hook me up to a couple of monitors for a fetal non-stress test, again to see if Baby G is okay to hang out over another weekend "post-date." We wouldn't want the placenta to "poop out," as my doctor says, while the baby's taking his sweet time in there. If I still haven't gone into labor on my own after the weekend, I'll be induced that following Monday.

So I've got about a week and a half to go into labor on my own. She was a little more generous with the induction date than I think they'd normally be, partly because of the due date discrepancy (although she said the due date based on the first trimester ultrasound, i.e. yesterday, is probably more accurate than the original estimation), partly because there are a stretch of days next week when she's not on call. I guess one benefit of having to be induced that day is that she'll be the one to handle the delivery. Of the three doctors in the practice, she's definitely my favorite, but I'd be just as happy to go into labor a bit earlier even if it meant one of the other docs will do the deed.

And her only recommendation as for how to pass the next ten days was to enjoy our time together as a couple, go to movies, go out to eat, etc. I thought for sure Iron Man would be the last movie we'd be able to see in a theater for awhile last weekend but I guess I'll have to see what came out today...

happy due date

Yep, I'm 40 weeks today and nope, I'm not in labor & delivery yet. Considering how cranky and impatient I've felt all week leading up to this day, I'm feeling remarkably at peace with still being pregnant right now. Maybe it has to do with anticipation of the Estimated Due Date and once you've reached that (and then passed it) it's kind of like, well, the baby's definitely not going to be on time, whether he arrives tomorrow or 10 days from now. Might as well get on with it.

Here's an updated pic from earlier today. Once again, I'm wearing the same top as I had on last time, mainly because it's the one of the only things that fits that's comfortable in this suddenly summer-like weather (although, I have to say, today is much more pleasant than the past five days have been).


And here's a pic from the last photo shoot, about two and a half weeks ago, to compare:


Maybe it's just wishful thinking but I swear my belly looks lower in the top photo, the one from today. I'm not sure if he's officially "dropped" yet, but it does feel like he's continued to grow and wiggle his way down a bit just in the last week or so. And as usual, even though I think I look pretty darn big in the pics, I still feel like they don't quite do the belly justice. Especially in the last couple of days, when I've felt and looked particularly "pokey". I look down at my belly and for the first time this entire pregnancy, it seems like a separate entity.

Ah, if only that were true today. On the other hand, as I was discussing with a friend recently, I can imagine it will be a tad bittersweet when baby G and me are no longer sharing one body. I'm so used to feeling his every squirm, especially the past few weeks, it will be strange to not have that sensation anymore. Although, I'm sure I'll be way too busy and sleep-deprived for that empty belly syndrome to last long.

Anyway, here's one more pic from today's shoot. Look at those sausage fingers!

t minus one day

Or so my baby ticker tells me. I wonder what it'll say tomorrow...and the day after, if I still don't have a reason to take it off just yet? That's right, I'm still pregnant. I've been having more "practice" contractions pretty consistently every evening the past 3 or 4 nights but by the time I wake up the next morning, I feel like my body has re-set, so to speak. I feel like I'll be pregnant forever. Everyone tells me, you know, you'll never be ready, don't feel like you have to get absolutely everything done, etc. But you know what, I think I just might be the first person in history to actually be completely ready when Baby G finally decides to make his descent. Okay, not really, but I am managing to cross things off my list that, realistically, I didn't actually think I'd get around to. I still have things to do and I'm doing my best to stay motivated, but I have to admit I'm feeling pretty impatient and cranky about the whole thing...and I'm not even officially overdue yet. Psychologically, I think I can get through the weekend with no problems, and yet I find myself really reluctant to put anything specific on the calendar for tomorrow. Just in case.

heat wait

Turns out the waiting game gets even harder when combined with a pre-summer heat wave. This wasn't part of the plan. I was supposed to be done being pregnant by the time summer really got under way. Now I'll need to go to the air-conditioned mall and walk up the escalators to get my workin'-baby-down workout in...where, of course, I'll be tempted to have some frozen custard and buy some summer maternity clothes that, even if baby G is late, I'll only wear a couple more weeks. How did he not get the memo? Is he unaware of my carefully designed plans?

I'm trying to be creative in the clothing department to avoid buying any more pregnancy duds, rolling up the legs on the lighter pair of "comfy pants" I own and pairing those with some very large t-shirts I have. I never realized how much of my at-home wardrobe could accommodate a fully pregnant belly. I can even fit into these short shorts I used to sleep in, as long as I let my belly hang out over the waistband. I can't be seen in them, of course, but they work when the windows are closed and the AC is blasting. The best discovery, though, is a nightshirt I own that's roomy, to say the least, with absolutely no shape to it. It's a sleepshirt from Avon (as in Avon ladies), yellow, really light, very soft cotton, with an image of four kittens on the front. It's the closest thing I have to a muumuu and you know what? It's pretty darn comfy. I'm definitely getting more of these for the next pregnancy.

nothin'

According to my June 12th due date (and I write that to remind myself that my original due date was a week later), I'm 39 weeks and 1 day today. But at my doctor's appointment this morning I was told I've made absolutely no progress in the dilation department. I'm trying to keep in mind that there are plenty of women who walk around for weeks at 1 or 2 cm and vice versa, I'm sure, women who are told their babies are making no signs of coming out any time soon and then begin having contractions that day. But, I have to admit, it's hard not to feel a little discouraged.

Physically, I'm still feeling pretty good. I've been a lot better about walking and doing yoga this week (I think a combination of boredom and wishful thinking that labor would start early led to a couple of weeks without doing yoga), which seems to be helping with the hip pain, allowing me to sleep better and longer at night. I still have a hard time falling back to sleep after I wake up the second time, usually around 5 a.m., but the two 3-hour shifts before that have been much better.

So I guess I shouldn't complain or feel too terribly impatient. It's just the strangest experience to be waiting for something that you know will happen, but not exactly when. It could happen today...or it might be another couple of weeks. And in the meantime, while I have a long list of things I should and would normally love to work on, I have just one thing on my mind. When will labor begin, what will it feel like, just how painful will it be, will my doctor be on call that day, what will I want to have with me at the hospital, what kind of music will I want to listen to, will I snap at my husband if he tries to give me a massage, what if I ate a burrito the day before, what will my baby look like, will we establish a good latch, etc. Okay, one multi-faceted thing, but you get the idea.

So I've scheduled a few things for next week and even have a meeting to go to on Friday after my next doctor's appointment, when I'll be officially (again, according to that June 12th due date) overdue. Fortunately, we'll probably have Thai food at the meeting, so if I haven't gone into labor by then, maybe the spicy food will do the trick, especially in combination with the raspberry tea I'm drinking, the stairs I've been walking, the ripe pineapple I plan to buy next time I get groceries, and maybe a few other things I'm not sure I want to blog about.

the grand tour

In my last post, where I wrote about a typical day's schedule lately, I forgot to add the various points in the day when I spend time walking around the baby's room, doing nothing in particular. So let's go on a tour, shall we?

Here's the bookcase, only one shelf of which is actually devoted to pregnancy, parenting, and baby books. Most of them came from my niece and nephew, a few are new, and surprisingly, quite a few came from our own collection. I never realized we had so many children's books.


Here's a basket we received as part of a shower gift that now holds all the stuffed animals, again, some of which come from our own pre-baby collection (I figured we should keep them all together, for now at least). We have several of these hanging-down kind of stuffed animals, some with mirrors, that I'm not really sure what to do with. Besides the handle on the car seat, where else do these things ideally go?


Aw, my favorite - opening the drawers of the dresser/changing table to look at the baby clothes inside.


I like to call this part of the nursery the dirty corner, home to a variety of different sized diapers, the diaper pail, and the dirty clothes hamper. It's also temporarily home to the not so dirty baby mat that I can't wait to try tummy time on (well, not me, but you know what I mean...Actually, I am looking forward to enjoying my own tummy time again, after avoiding laying on my belly or back for nine months now!).


And rounding out the corner with the crib and car seat/snap 'n' go. Note the hangy-down rattle toys here, too. These are so long; I worry they'll swing in the car and hit him in the face. What do people do with these things?