10 months

Here we are, already almost a week into month eleven and I'm just now sitting down to post the month 10 pics. That's the way it is lately, it seems. I feel like it's getting to be more of a challenge to update the ol' baby blog more than about once a week, partly because Elias is an inconsistent and unpredictable napper, and partly because I feel pulled in a lot of different directions right now, but I'll spare you all the whiny details.

Month 10 was more of the same, I guess. We're going on two months now of a renewed challenge in the nap department. Fortunately, night sleep has been mostly unaffected (knock on wood) by illness, teething, and developmental stuff, all of which is, I'm sure, to blame for Elias fighting the daytime naps. I'd say he naps well once or twice a week; otherwise I struggle to get him to take two 30-45 minute naps. If he woke up from those short naps well rested I'd let him be but he usually wakes up crying, rubbing his eyes, and cranky. So on top of a nap that gives me barely enough time to take care of the basics (bathroom, dishes, lunch, etc.) I then have to deal with an unusually cranky boy until I try again with the sleep a few hours later. I asked Neal the other day, when will this phase end, and he responded with, "maybe it's not a phase." Um, thanks, but that was a rhetorical question...

So I've concluded (yes, after just 10 months) that there is no magical age when things get easier. As soon as you've figured out a solution to one challenge, something else pops up. But things do get better. And on that note, Elias, while perhaps a bit crankier than usual at times, is usually loads of fun to be around. He's always on the move and quite the babbler lately. While he enjoys pulling himself up and cruising along things, the futon in his room in particular, he's not fond of the "finger walking." I think this is partly because he doesn't want anyone's help with anything and partly because crawling is such an efficient way for him to get from point a to point b right now. It's an awkward time to be out and about, because he doesn't want to stay in his stroller for too long, he's too heavy for the carrier we have, but I don't exactly want him crawling around on the floor of the store, museum, mall, etc. Our best outings are ultimately to our two Gymboree classes each week because the drive is relatively short and the destination is all about letting him loose to play with musical instruments or crawl around and climb on things. Which is essentially what we do at home, but somehow doing it somewhere different, not to mention with much more room to move around, and in a setting where I can talk to other adults, makes a world of difference in breaking up the occasional tedium of our weeks together.

The other thing he seems to enjoy, now that the weather is finally improving, are walks outside. There are a couple of parks and waterfront trails we drive to from time to time and we've been exploring the neighborhood on foot a bit more lately. He seems to enjoy watching the birds, planes (especially since we seem to be right on the flight path to Logan), and the flowers and other garden art in full swing these days. Which is a very good thing since squeezing in even two or three half-hour workouts a week is a bit of a challenge. And when we drive somewhere, I have a bad habit of wanting to get an iced coffee on the go.

Anyway, speaking of, Elias is up from his half-hour nap. Better give Neal some back-up...

spring fever...no, really

Everyone in this family is officially sick. Even the cats are on antibiotics for various ailments following their annual check-up at the vet. Elias has had a strange stomach bug/sinus/chest cold thing for a little over a week now, although he seemed mostly fine for the middle part of last week. Both he and Neal became undeniably sick by about Friday afternoon. Both seem to be on the mend although Elias seems mostly incapable of coughing up any junk rattling around in his chest without setting off his ridiculously sensitive gag reflex and emptying the contents of his stomach all over us, the floor, and the occasional innocent bystander, like his Taggies blanket or his stuffed giraffe (or maybe it's a zebra, I'm not totally sure) named Max. Max plays music so he can't go for a spin in the washer and dryer which is a total drag.

Just as the boys seemed to be coming around, I started feeling crappy yesterday afternoon. On top of the head cold and sore throat, I also hurt my back a few days ago as I bent over to wrap up the cord to the vacuum cleaner (which, I might add, has a broken wheel that every couple of minutes spins off and I have to fetch it and pop it back on) so I'm not sure if I'm achy or if not sleeping well is keeping my back from healing as quickly as it should. Woe is us. Well, at least we have our health, right? Wait a second...

Anyway, even sickly as we were/are, we managed to enjoy one of the first really nice weekends of spring with the occasional walk around the park. Here's Elias looking a little more like a fly fisher-baby than I intended by pairing his green vest with his khaki sun hat.




So serious.

baby's first word is...mop?

Neal occasionally puts on the They Might Be Giants children's album No! (a CD that we got for our then childless selves after buying a copy for our niece and nephew) for Elias, who seems to have developed a preference for one song in particular, Violin, playing in the video above. He even seems to have learned and enjoys singing along to some of the lyrics. I think. He has occasionally babbled this new sound while looking, sometimes even pointing, at me when Neal asks him where I am. Mop, Mom - what's the difference, really?

this kitchen is closed, baby

I've had a link to Hanna Rosin's controversial article about breastfeeding in my inbox as a reminder to blog about it for almost a month now. Hearing her talk about the article on NPR earlier today reminded me to finally add my two cents. In short, of the two kinds of mail she's received in response, if I were to write to her I'd definitely be in the thank-you-for-writing-this-article camp. There's not much I can add to The Case Against Breastfeeding; you should read it if you haven't already. But as someone who had a tough time getting the hang of breastfeeding and then went to ridiculous lengths to keep doing so long after any logical person would have stopped, I could really relate to everything she writes. I've heard rumors that breastfeeding is actually effortless for some women and babies. I've never met these mom's but I'm sure they exist. For the rest of us, the pressure to breastfeed is intense and downright crazy-making.

It's strange, actually, to think back to a time when our lives literally revolved around breastfeeding. And I think this is probably the case the first couple of months whether it comes easily or not; feeding the baby is one of just a few activities one can do with a newborn. And they eat a lot. But your ability to breastfeed does not automatically make you a good mother, or vice versa. Breastmilk is not, in fact, liquid gold. I cringe now when I hear breastfeeding moms proudly refer to this particular bodily fluid in such a way. As for La Leche League, while I did get a lot of useful information from their website, and I'm sure they've helped scores of mothers who might have otherwise given up too early, I found their "leaders," at least the one in my area, to be inconsistently helpful. The woman I talked to was really supportive the first time I called but seemed downright annoyed when I called again a few days later. And ultimately, you can't solve a latching issue over the phone. Which is why we ended up going to a lactation consultant, one of the many reasons, for us at least, why breastfeeding is most definitely not free. And don't get me started on the hundreds of dollars I spent on nursing bras that never quite fit right, nursing tops that didn't really make me feel any more comfortable nursing in public, the second pillow we bought to replace the mostly useless Boppy, or the almost $300 breastpump we had to have the first couple of weeks while Elias and I learned how to, um, connect, etc., etc., etc.

I'm glad I was able to breastfeed Elias for the four months that I stuck it out, through nipple shields, pumping, supplementing, and two and a half months of the most efficient diet I've ever been on. But I'm also, in retrospect, really glad I weaned when I did. I forget that I had every intention of breastfeeding throughout the AAP's recommended first year, and perhaps beyond, until I'm around a breastfeeding mom with a baby the same age as Elias. It's times like those that I do feel a tiny bit sad that he's bottle-fed. But I have to admit that I'm kind of glad that weaning him is not something we have ahead of us, but rather a transition we've already experienced (infancy being one transition after another).

Which is not to say that formula is easy. Formula was a major drag initially, like, for example, the first time I had to feed Elias on the go after weaning and forgot to put the travel cap on the bottle I'd prepared and hadn't thought to bring any extra formula with me. There were two ounces left in the bottle when we got to our destination, right as Elias was ready for his second feeding of the day. The rest of the bottle had leaked out onto the Baby Bjorn that was between the diaper bag and the passenger seat. That was fun. But once I got the hang of mixing his formula in batches once or twice a day, always toting around more than enough in his diaper bag, etc., I do feel like it's a bit easier, at least for someone who never in reality felt like the carefree breastfeeder she imagined she'd be pre-baby.

When I think about having another child, there's no doubt in my mind that I'll try breastfeeding, and if all goes well, I'd love to do so exclusively as long as I'm at home with the little one. But after going through the breastfeeding drama with Elias, I'm not so sure I'll go to those kinds of lengths again to keep doing so should things not go so smoothly after the first month, or if I go back to work full-time sooner the second time around. I also really like the idea of someone else being able to feed him, which is actually something I struggled with when I was deciding whether or not to wean once we'd entered the four to six month range. I think being a mother has been challenging for me in that I've never felt so incompetent in my life and feeling incompetent and out of control is not a place I like to be for too long. Being able to breastfeed successfully, knowing that I was the sole provider of those first ten pounds of baby fat Elias gained by the time he reached four months, was really powerful but ultimately also really nerve-wracking. Letting Neal or someone else give him a bottle occasionally (say, in the middle of the night, perhaps) is incredibly liberating and reminds me that feeding the baby is just one of many things you need to do to be a good parent.

And anyway, we've since moved on to countless other bigger and better challenges things, like cows. We'll see if Elias can tolerate dairy in just a few weeks, just a month before he'll hopefully exchange the Neocate for cow's milk. It's amazing how fast that AAP recommended first year goes by, isn't it?

chocolate or poop?

This is what we did last weekend. I'm having a hard time catching up on my baby blogging duties, and I blame the baby. Specifically his lack of napping that got worse over the course of the week, culminating in two nearly napless days on Thursday and Friday. Not only do I not get stuff done while he's not napping, but by the time we get him to bed and I get caught up on whatever it is that has to be done that day, I'm too wiped out to do much else. Fortunately, the nighttime sleep doesn't seem to be affected by whatever it is he's going through, knock on digital ether. It's odd, really. He resists the daytime nap like it's nobody's business but then at night, at least this past week, he promptly pulls himself to standing after being deposited in his crib, watches as we walk out telling him how much we love him and to have sweet dreams, all the while making the sign for sleep, and then babbles to himself for a few minutes before getting quiet. I've read that different parts of the brain are responsible for daytime and nighttime sleep. I think the part of Elias's brain that controls daytime sleep must be on vacation.


Anyway, he did a bit better this weekend, taking decent morning naps both days and even a brief afternoon nap - in his crib - this afternoon. Yesterday's afternoon nap, like both last weekend, was enjoyed on Neal's shoulder and/or in his arms. There will come a time when this is no longer physically possible.

Other than the nap regression, things are going pretty well. Last Sunday we enjoyed a lovely spring walk through Arnold Arboretum, part of Boston's "emerald necklace," where, despite temperatures this weekend that hovered in the mid 40s, we witnessed definite evidence that spring is well on its way.


Blossoms! And flowers!


I don't think I ever got so excited about trees budding and flowers blooming before moving to Boston. I don't mind winter, in theory; it's the duration that gets me. The leaves and temperatures begin to fall in October so we're talking a solid six months of twigs. Those six months feel even longer when you already spend most of your time at home with an infant. Anyway, what's sort of pathetic about all this is that this was our first visit to the arboretum despite the fact that it's just a few minutes away. Needless to say, I look forward to more of this kind of thing over the next few months.

Otherwise, Elias seems to be back on track as far as eating goes. Reducing his formula a smidge did seem to help. Last week he did pretty well with his three-course breakfast (oatmeal and fruit, followed by a bottle and then some Cheerios and pieces of banana back at the table while Mom and Dad eat) and dinner, plus the occasional snack after his mid-day bottle. I even managed to find some dairy-free teething biscuits (since we've been encouraged to hold off on all dairy for another month or so). As a friend shared with me months ago, these things can keep a baby entertained for some time, but man, are they messy! I'll leave you with a few images from Elias's first teething biscuit experience.

the fish tank brings out the blue in your eyes

Thanks to a friend's recent gift membership, Elias and I got to go to the New England Aquarium for free last week. I've only been once before, shortly after we moved to Boston almost four years ago, so it was fun to return with Elias before he completely outgrows the Baby Bjorn.


It was also nice to go during the week, when it wasn't so crowded and my friend and I could easily maneuver our strollers, loaded with jackets and diaper bags, babies positioned front and center. It was also our second trip on the T, taking the train from where we live on the Red Line to South Station and making the 15-20 minute walk from there. The longer than usual commute to and from our typical mid-day "adventure" meant that Elias basically skipped the afternoon nap altogether, but this happens occasionally even when we stay in or close by for the day. He got a little squirmy in the carrier toward the end of our visit, as we made our way back down the stairs, checking out the side galleries that surround the central tank, but otherwise did really well for such a long afternoon and seemed to enjoy looking at all the fish. I couldn't really tell if Elias had any favorites, but I rather enjoyed watching this big turtle.


It's good to take advantage of these indoor activities while the weather is still transitioning from winter to spring, but, as I think I complain almost every chance I get lately, and I think I can speak for all of us, I am more than ready for spring. We met the same friend for a walk the week before around Dorchester's own Malibu Beach.


Added to the fact that Elias is still bundled up and there's not a leaf in sight, the painted natural gas tank in the background is a dead giveaway that we're nowhere near California's Malibu Beach.


In other news, Elias is indeed enjoying a longer than usual morning nap, which is a nice break from his napless ways of the past few weeks. After adopting a wait and see approach just about every day since we began trying to wean him from his reflux meds, he's back on the full dose. If he continues to nap like a dream, he might have to stay on for a bit more, but if we see little change over the next few days (this is only day two of the recent step backwards) we'll take him back down to half of what he normally gets. We've also been experimenting with our feeding schedule since even breakfast, usually the one solid feeding I could count on, became a total struggle a few days ago, reducing his total formula intake a bit and encouraging the self-feeding that he seems to enjoy. I've added some Gerber puffs (fruits and veggies only for now, since we've been advised to stay off dairy completely until around Elias's 11th month) to his staple of Cheerios, and began coating pieces of banana in Cheerio crumbs to make them a little easier for him to pick up. It's still a little hit or miss. Sometimes he deftly maneuvers a piece of banana right into his mouth and other times he misses completely or mashes the banana between his finger and thumb and has a sort of awkward time trying to figure out how to get the bits of banana and Cheerio into his mouth. I was thinking of doing something similar with pieces of ripe avocado, using crushed tortilla chips in place of Cheerios. Like chips and guacamole, baby style.

Otherwise, Elias has been quite a riot lately, revealing his ability to shake both his head, side to side, and finger in the same week. Whether or not he understands that he has the power to object, he seems to enjoy these new tricks. He's also enjoying chasing after the cats a bit more, both of which I'll have to try to get on video sometime this week.

paper goods for your significant life events

This is part of the reason why I haven't been blogging about Elias and our adventures together as much as usual lately. As always with the "me time" (ha!) category of baby blog posts, I'll save most of this kind of stuff for my other blog, but perhaps you have a party or baby shower for which you need invitations, or a new baby you'd like to announce, or are recently engaged to wed and are in the market for some paper goods to let your friends and family know all the details. If that's the case, and you don't read my other blog, I wanted to keep you in the loop. Go here for more info, or head straight to the shop to check out what I have to offer.

This is the first of a few posts for the day (hopefully...if Elias decides to take an extra long morning nap) as I begin to catch up a bit. Stay tuned...