no whey

As I noted yesterday, Elias had his two month shots. He had various immunizations delivered via one sugar solution by mouth and two shots, one in each chunky thigh. He did well with the sugar solution, not surprisingly, and screamed as expected with the shots. I nursed him before and after, so I think that helped a bit. He then fell asleep in his car seat and continued to sleep at home for about three hours. I actually had to kind of wake him up when he was just stirring a bit in order to feed him. It was either that or pump.

Of course, after that he was super cranky and definitely delivering the "I'm in pain" cry. We gave him some infant tylenol and spent the next hour or so getting him back to bed. Then he slept for about six hours, which was wonderful for all of us, especially considering he hasn't been sleeping too well the past few days (napping very little during the day and waking up more often at night). When he woke up at 3:30 this morning he seemed back to his old self, ready to eat and then, unfortunately, ready for the day. He's spoiled us by only waking up - typically - once per night lately but he's almost always incredibly difficult to get back to sleep. All the experts advise against interacting with your baby during those nighttime feedings but it's hard to ignore a smiling baby. Who needs sleep anyway?

And he continues to gain weight at a good rate - up to 12 pounds 3 ounces yesterday, which means he's more than doubled his weight from that first pedi appointment, when we found out his weight had dropped to just six pounds. Clearly, despite all the spit-up these past few weeks, something's getting through. Coincidentally, Elias had a few blood streaks in his poopy diaper right there at the doctor's office. Our pedi confirmed it was blood with some sort of test (she even sent us home with a half-dozen of these poo tests), which of course points to a food allergy. The only other typical explanation is rectal fissures (wow, so much fun stuff in this post) but he's not constipated, and given his other symptoms, it's probably a food allergy. It seems like there's no definitive way to figure out which food he's allergic to, other than these elimination diets for several weeks, followed by reintroducing one suspected food at a time. And as I've mentioned before, cow's milk protein is the most common, and up to half of babies with that food allergy are also sensitive to soy. So I'm sticking with the diet at least until we meet with the GI doc next week.

And I'm feeling better about the diet. If you do your homework, you'll find plenty of foods without dairy or soy - all whole foods, of course (fruits, veggies, grains, what have you), plus tasty snacks like Sun Chips, Pita Chips, most cereals are safe, etc. And I've found alternatives for ice cream, yogurt, and chocolate chips. The key ingredient in the first two is coconut milk - there's a whole line of dairy and soy free yogurt and ice cream made my Turtle Mountain. I've yet to try the yogurt but the vanilla bean and chocolate flavored ice creams are delicious, and I don't think that's just because I've been off of real ice cream for over three weeks now. The chocolate chips are courtesy of Enjoy Life, a line of allergy free foods. I also bought some granola, snack bars, and cookies. The boxes are tiny and expensive but the alternative to all this, for the time being at least, is a special formula that costs about $37 per can. I don't know how many bottles you get out of a can of formula, but I'm pretty sure $3 for the occasional cookie fix for Mom is less. And it dawned on me this morning that I've already been breastfeeding for over two months (obviously, I know, but sometimes I can hardly remember to brush my teeth). My initial goal was a year, at least, maybe more depending on what my life is like next summer when Elias will celebrate his first birthday. My revised goal, as long as this diet seems necessary, is at least until he's no longer exclusively breastfeeding, so another 2 to 4 months, give or take. I think I can handle that, if not longer. At that point, I'll reassess the situation. Honestly, the hardest part about this diet so far has been trying to find alternatives to various staples (I'm still looking for dairy and soy free mayo and butter/margarine) and eating out. At Chili's, for example, I can have a burger patty and a side salad, hold the cheese, croutons, and dressing. Mmm.

Anyway, should any of you have any dairy and soy free food tips, feel free to share!

roll over

Here's video of Elias rolling first to the right, and then, with some help from Mom, to the left:



I always think of the song, about the kids in bed, and how one gets crowded and asks the others to roll over, and so they do and then one falls out and you go through the song again, counting down from there...How does that song go exactly? "Four in the bed and the little one said, roll over, I'm crowded. So they all rolled over, and" - and here's where I get confused - "something, something, something...Three in the bed..." and so on. It's driving me crazy.

Anyway, we're off soon for Elias's two-month shots. Yay.

head control

It dawned on me that I'm supporting Elias's head in all of the photos we've taken so far in month three (which began late last week).






The washcloth covering Elias in the top photo is not so much because he's modest but rather to keep him warm, a trick I learned after seeing a product that's sold specifically for this reason. A warm washcloth works just fine.

In other news, Elias seems to have finally turned a corner as far as spit-up goes late last week. Of course, every time I blog about things getting better, we seem to regress. And he's still spitting up, just less volume and less frequently. The no-dairy/no-soy diet, however, is more challenging than I thought. Not only is it difficult to find enough things to eat during the day that contain neither product, it doesn't seem to be so good for the breastfeeding mom, which is pretty ironic, since the only reason I'm doing it is so I can continue breastfeeding. I'm not sure if it's the lack of fat, calories, or just the sudden and drastic changes to my diet, but I've definitely noticed a dip in my milk supply (and energy level) over the weekend. Talk about frustrating. Things seemed to be a bit better late yesterday and today, but I'm still anxious to determine if what's causing Elias's problems is indeed dietary. We're still waiting for an appointment with the GI doc, and if he continues to improve throughout the week, I plan on reintroducing first soy and then dairy beginning this weekend. We'll see how he does. Who knows, maybe he's just beginning to outgrow the reflux on his own and I can start eating ice cream and processed foods again!

2 months

11 pounds, 10 ounces, 23 inches. I don't recall what his head circumference was but he's measuring fairly solidly in the 50th percentile, all around, up from the 25th percentile for weight and height (his head's always been a little bigger than his body). Yep, totally average.

Those were Elias's stats on Wednesday, when we took him in partly for his two-month appointment, but mainly to re-assess the spit-up situation which, despite all our efforts, continued to get worse over the weekend and throughout the early part of this week. Wednesday was particularly bad; we spent most of the day eating, near projectile vomiting, eating some more, followed by two or three hours of a half dozen or more less projectile spit-up episodes. All day. By 5:30 I wasn't sure I could get through another day of this before our appointment on Friday. So we saw the pedi that night and she recommended we put the boy through an upper GI series to rule out any sort of intestinal obstruction, malrotation, or the like. Fortunately, none of those things is at the root of his problems, which remain a mystery (but I'm glad we ruled all that out!). Either he has really bad reflux or a food allergy, most likely cow's milk protein, with a little soy possibly thrown in the mix.

We'll meet with a GI specialist next week sometime to go back to the drawing board. Our pedi didn't seem to think it was dietary but because of Elias's very particular symptoms, the GI specialist she spoke with recommended I stay on the elimination diet for another week (we're at about a week and a half and counting), and try to avoid soy as well since about a third of babies with the milk allergy are also sensitive to soy. And I thought cutting out dairy was hard!

It's a tricky situation. If it's not a milk allergy then the options are stick with the Zantac and hope that helps a bit more as he outgrows the reflux on his own (which typically peaks in about two more months), or upgrade to the next class of drugs used to treat this kind of thing (more often in adults than infants), something I have more reservations about than putting my kid on Zantac. If it is a milk allergy, our options include continuing to breastfeed but steering clear of dairy and soy (unless reintroducing it causes no problems) for as long as I plan to feed my child this way, or try one of the elemental formulas that contain neither milk nor soy. I don't really want to do any of these things...Is that an option?

Ironically, he had a pretty good day yesterday and has had very little spit-up again today. Is he beginning to outgrow this phase or is it true that you won't see improvement on the elimination diet until a good two to three weeks off of dairy? We'll see, I guess. I'll stick with the dietary changes for another week, at least, and if he continues to improve, the soy and dairy challenges should confirm if what's going on with him is indeed food-related. We'll go from there. A year or so without dairy or soy is a long time, but after all this hard work, I'm not sure I want to give up breastfeeding so easily (this despite secretly hoping for a milk allergy a few weeks ago when nursing was still frustrating and the spitting up was beginning to become another problem to contend with). The silver lining of this diet, of course, is that I'm sure to lose not only the 6-10 pounds or so left of the pregnancy weight but maybe even a few pounds beyond. Dairy products are key ingredients in all the foods I crave: chocolate, ice cream, baked goods. I haven't been in any particular rush to lose the baby weight, it just seems to be coming off rather quickly. I lost 20 pounds in the first week alone, then another ten or so over the next month. My weight had plateaued for awhile until I cut out obvious dairy and in that first week I lost another three pounds. Then I went to Trader Joe's and Whole Foods and bought just about every snack food that didn't contain dairy: plantain chips, corn chips, vegan donut holes and rugelech, hot tamales (the candy). I even managed to find a margarine that didn't actually contain some sort of milk derivative. But most of these things contain soy, so it's back to fruits and grains for awhile. As long as I can have peanut butter and avocados, I think I might just be able to swing it.

baby legs

Here's a shot of Elias in his crib earlier today, checking out his new mobile and sporting his new BabyLegs.


Neal had a thing for BabyLegs early on but I wasn't convinced until I realized our particular baby doesn't care much for pants and considering how tight some of the pants' waistbands are around his tummy, a very sensitive tummy that has a hard time keeping food down these days. So the BabyLegs seemed like a good solution, especially on a cooler than usual day like today.

The mobile we bought to entertain Elias as he effortlessly falls asleep in his big, beautiful crib. Ha! He likes the mobile, don't get me wrong, but I'm not sure it'll ever lull him to sleep (nor do I expect him to be able to fall asleep on his own just yet, but more on that in just a sec). I've successfully distracted him from fussing by plopping him down to enjoy the show and he seems very entertained by the plush animals and other high-contrast elements, all accompanied by three varieties of classical music. But fall asleep he did not. I did manage to get him to take a 45-minute or so nap in the crib earlier today, after swaddling and pacifying him, and turning on the HoMedic Soundspa. He seemed fairly disoriented and upset when he woke up, though. Needless to say, he's back in the bassinet for the current nap.

On the topic of sleep, schedules and routines were a big topic of discussion throughout the duration of my mom's group, something I wasn't expecting for a group geared toward babies anywhere from 2 to ten weeks old. Most things I hear and read advise against putting your baby on any kind of schedule (other than feeding "on demand") until they're at least 3 months old. That seems like common sense to me, especially if you're breastfeeding and considering they go through a couple of growth spurts in those first few months. The baby that seemed to be eating every three hours may suddenly be genuinely hungry every hour and a half for a day or two. I'm always surprised when people ask me, for example, when does Elias take his afternoon nap (I believe I was asked this question twice in Elias's first month of life). Well, sometimes he doesn't take an afternoon nap...other times he'll sleep from 2 until about 4 (which I suspect he's working on right now), or maybe he'll sneak in a shorter nap from 3:30 to 4:30. It depends on how his morning went, which is equally unpredictable. And that's just fine with me, for now at least.

But I couldn't help but be curious about the Babywise parenting philosophy that several women in the group swore by. The book is fairly controversial, I've since learned, thanks to hundreds of reviews on Amazon and this article on Salon. The author is not so much a medical professional, but rather a Christian evangelical minister, whose parenting philosophy goes a little like this: "Raising good children is not a matter of chance but a matter of rightly applying God's principles in parenting." Hmm. Don't get me wrong; I can appreciate the need for some return to order, even at 2 months along (and we're lucky to have a baby that has never woken up more than 2 or 3 times during the night), but I think I'll keep browsing the parenting titles.

8 weeks (and 3 days...but who's counting?)

Elias is fast approaching his two month birthday, which is pretty hard to believe. It's true what people tell you when you first have a baby and you're in the thick of it, those first few crazy weeks - they really do become a blur as you look back. The two-month mark will probably be a blur by the time we hit three months, and so on. We have friends who recently added a wee member to their family and I remember thinking a few months ago that at 7-8 weeks postpartum by the time they had their baby we'd be old pros at this game. Here are some things we've learned - and learned to ignore - over the past couple of months (based on "anti-advice" Neal sent the new parents and gave me permission to "re-print" here):

1. Sleep when the baby sleeps - This is great advice... assuming that the baby sleeps. If you've been keeping up on Becky's blog (this here blog that you're reading right now) you'll know that this is not always the case. Even by the calculations of most "authoritative" books, babies don't have that much time during the day for sleep. They say babies should eat 8-12 times a day for the first couple of weeks (make that months). But breastfeeding can take from 30 minutes to 1 hour, especially in the beginning. And yet the books also recommend that babies should have about 16 hours of sleep a day (typical self-contradictory advice: never wake a sleeping baby VS don't let your baby go longer than 4 hours without feeding him). Let's pause to consider this. At the upper end, you may be feeding your baby 12 hours during the day, and then he is supposed to be asleep for the rest of the...um ...16. So every second that your baby is not feeding he will be asleep. Congrats if this is the case for you guys.

Lack of sleep certainly sucks, but I actually found that, with all of the stresses and uncertainties of newborn care, it was not high on my list of worries.

2. Relax and don't try to get things done - Regardless of your intention to devote your full time to the baby and not "get things done," there are some things that you have to get done: eating, going to the bathroom, showering, washing baby paraphernalia. And then less essential things that you'll probably want to do occasionally: calling relatives and friends, checking email, doing your usual chores. So many of the books advised that we should just "let the dishes pile up." But how is having to wash a huge mound of dishes after 3 days much better than washing a few dishes after each meal? And you know when a great time to do these things is: when the baby sleeps. Don't feel guilty if you want to "get stuff done."

3. Breastfeeding Uber Alles - Everybody who says breastfeeding is hard is right. If it makes you absolutely miserable, please peruse this handy article. But don't switch to formula without trying a nipple shield first. $5 at Babies R Us. Some experts poo-poo them (they inhibit milk flow, create bad habits, yadda yadda yadda), but they can be miracle products (for a while at least).

Basically, what I've come to feel is that most of the guidelines and admonitions forced on parents by the baby industrial complex are there to give you something to focus on while you learn how to take care of the individual needs of your very unique baby. One piece of GOOD advice I read was that if your newborn is still alive after the first 2 weeks you've done a great job.

tummy time

hey batter

This outfit is standard issue for any baby born in Boston.


I'm kidding, actually. A student of mine was kind enough to send some baby-appropriate Red Sox gear when she found out that he had none, aside from a baseball cap that's obviously intended to be team affiliated but unofficially. Even if you're not into baseball, you've got to admit, Elias looks pretty cute supporting his home team.


Thanks, Erin!

circle of babies

Today was the last meeting of my mom's group. These kinds of pictures are, I think, pretty routine for these kinds of groups. Pretty cute, huh? Elias is in the bottom left corner. It's amazing how quickly the time went by and yet how much each of the babies grew over the five week period. I think I've been slightly less frazzled the past couple of weeks, but I still can't seem to make it there by 10 with all of the following accomplished: baby fed and diapered, mom showered, teeth brushed, breakfast consumed, hair dried, makeup on. There was one week where I actually realized I'd completely forgotten to brush my teeth on the way there. Fortunately I had some gum with me, but that was definitely a "you know you're a new parent when..." moment.

A lot has changed since that first meeting, when Elias was not yet three weeks old. And yet sometimes I feel like most of what continues to keep us on our toes has to do with feeding and digestion. Despite all our efforts, Elias's spitting up hasn't dramatically improved over the past three weeks. There's been some improvement, but I can't say that baby Zantac changed my life, or that eliminating dairy from my diet totally turned things around. Elias is not, in fact, a completely different baby as a result of any of these things. He does seem to be a little more content generally, a little less physically uncomfortable. But he still spits up an insane amount and there are times when he literally cries out because of it. We still have a bit over a week to go on the dairy elimination diet before we go back to the pedi, and honestly I wasn't very vigilant about hidden dairy (dairy is in everything) until a day or two ago, when it dawned on me that there's an awful lot of butter in those cookies I enjoyed over the weekend, even though I skipped the tall glass of milk. There are times when such a strict diet seems very do-able; if vegans can do it, then certainly I can do it, especially with eggs and meat thrown in. I think the thing that frustrates me - aside from the fact that I'm not sure it's helping - are all the "non-dairy" products that have milk or milk derivatives in them. Like soy yogurt, for example. The live active cultures are milk-based. Why else would you eat soy yogurt? For the oh so delicious taste?

Anyway, I'll certainly stick it out for another week or so. And then I look forward to the dairy challenge, during which I'll reintroduce a bit of dairy (ice cream, anyone?) to my diet and see how Elias reacts. Of course, if it is a milk allergy that's causing some if not all of his digestive issues, his reaction will not be pleasant, but the eating ice cream part sure will be.

escape artist

Elias is not a big fan of the daytime naps. At least not the ones that take place in the bassinet or crib. In case you're not intimately familiar with the SwaddleMe blanket, the fabric underneath his legs should be over his legs and tucked up under the part that's wrapped around his torso...oh, and his arm should be inside there, too. These wraps were way too big for him initially, which is why we used the receiving blankets in "super swaddle" mode. But now that these fit, they're much easier to use, and a little lighter in this warm summer weather. He doesn't seem to like the swaddle much, and I'm not sure we'll be able to restrain him much longer, but he does tend to sleep a little better if he's wrapped up tight.

Napping sans swaddle on Mom or Dad, on the other hand, is just fine.


Even though I'm in no rush to get Elias out of our room at night, I think we're going to attempt transitioning to daytime naps in the crib. I'm not convinced the bassinet portion of the pack 'n' play that we've been using so far is really meant for extended use. It's starting to sag a bit in the middle. Plus, it'll be nice to slowly transfer portions of the baby encampment out of the bedroom and into other areas of the apartment. That is, if it works.

7 weeks is the new 6 weeks

Okay, I know I shouldn't be blogging about this because I'll only jinx it, but Elias has had a really great few days. Everyone talks about the first six weeks being the hardest, and maybe what they mean is the difficulty peaks at six weeks and then starts to get easier from then on, because I feel like we've started to turn a corner as we approach the 7 week mark today. The spitting up has continued to improve over the past week, we've experienced very little fussiness during the past three evenings, and last night we enjoyed another six-hour stretch of sleep. Well, six hours between feedings, which translates to a good five hours of sleep for Mom and Dad. And, it was the first night all week that Elias has gone right back to sleep after his middle-of-the-night feeding. Wow. I can't tell you how refreshed I'm feeling this morning, especially considering I've been battling a sinusy head cold over the past few days. Being a sick mama is no fun.

On the topic of spitting up, our pediatrician last week recommended we stay on the Zantac for now. Hopefully if things continue to improve we can think about weaning him off in another couple of months. I'd prefer he not stay on it into toddlerhood as seems to be the case with so many infants treated for reflux. And it's hard to know if the slight improvement is a result of the drugs or other measures we've taken over the past couple of weeks. In addition to some changes in feeding strategies, I think we've gotten a lot better about burping him. And realizing he's just a "windy" baby, we've also been administering gas drops after meals, which have made a big difference during that second stretch of night sleep in particular. There were a few nights last week where I swear he grunted every 15 minutes for the entire three hours or so between his night feeding and waking up for the day. And finally, in case he has an allergy to the protein in cow's milk, which shares many symptoms with reflux and is apparently pretty common, I've stopped eating obvious dairy products. I don't mind it too much, except for the fact that Neal had just brought home a carton of Haagen Dazs' new Fleur de Sel Caramel ice cream when I decided to change my diet. I'd tried cutting out dairy for a day or two a week before but apparently it can take up to three weeks to see any improvement, since it takes a week to ten days for the protein to get out of Mom's system, and another week to ten days to be completely out of baby's system.

When we're not spending the two or three hours between feedings dealing with spit-up, Elias and I have enjoyed regular boppy pillow time, during which we smile and coo at each other for a good half-hour stretch several times a day. Here's video from this morning.



Some of the fussiness seems to have been replaced by simply chilling out, whether it be on the boppy or being carried around, taking it all in. Here he is looking at an Andy Warhol print we have in the living room, the only thing to distract him from the mesmerizing flicker of the forbidden television screen.


Otherwise, most of the pics I took this week are of Elias in various ridiculously cute outfits, now that he's finally fitting into most of his 0-3 month wardrobe, like this one:


It's true.

These are some pretty snappy pj's he wore to my mom's group on Thursday, since it was a little chilly that day and we have very little non-summer clothing that he actually fits into that wasn't dirty at the time (turns out he's not a big fan of pants that I could have just thrown over a simple onesie):


He's a little fussy in the picture but he had a great time during the group meeting (more about that in another post). And finally, here's an outfit he hadn't worn that I realized he probably won't fit into much longer (he's also sporting quite the double chin in this particular pose).


So many cute outfits, so little time spent in the 0-3 month range!

6 weeks

...equals 6 hours of sleep? Well, for one night at least. Elias went on his first trip this past weekend, to visit family a couple of hours away. We went duck pin bowling, enjoyed hot dogs and cupcakes, had some quality "quiet alert" time with the cousins, and slept for nearly 6 hours straight Saturday night! He slept a fair amount that day, being in the car seat more than usual, so I thought for sure we'd be up all night, not getting to sleep until a bit after 10 p.m. So imagine my surprise when I woke up for the middle of the night feeding, got set up to feed him and glanced at the clock. I couldn't believe it was almost 4 a.m.

Anyway, last night wasn't exactly a repeat so I don't think that's the norm just yet. Neal and I attribute it in part to the cool, quiet sleeping quarters. As I think I've mentioned before, it's difficult to keep our apartment any cooler than about 74 or 75 degrees, unless of course it's unusually cool outside...which it hasn't been all summer.

Overall, Elias did pretty well on his first road trip. He did seem a little extra cranky yesterday afternoon when we got home, though. I think I underestimate how much of a routine we've actually established over the past six weeks. No morning bottle with Daddy, or chilling out time on the front porch, no bouncy seat during breakfast or smiling at the kissing fishes.


No afternoon nap with Mama.


So far we're back on track today. I'm especially looking forward to resuming that afternoon nap.