midnight train to George

Being pregnant introduces an entirely new dynamic to most relationships, I've found. And I'm anticipating the summer months will bring even more changes and adjustments. With the primary partner (or DH, i.e. "dear husband" as the message boards seem to favor), I think it's easy to forget that you're two parts of a team. For me at least, I think this is because so much of the pregnancy rests on the woman's shoulders, or rather, bladder, pelvis, tailbone, etc. The love I feel for this wriggling little creature in my belly is already pretty intense, and I haven't even met him yet. I think sometimes I fear I won't be able to protect him as fully as I'd like once he's outside the protective walls of my uterus. I know that sounds ridiculous, but if you've ever been pregnant before, I'm sure you can relate. So it's not surprising that in my heightened emotional state, sometimes I can be made to feel like simply the carrier for this child that will fulfill other relationships to other people. The non-pregnant partner, I suppose, must have a tough time negotiating and mediating between his pregnant counterpart's possibly unjustified fears and the desires, wants, and needs of others.

But there's nothing like a short business trip to reset the relationship a bit. With the "DH" gone last night, I honestly thought I'd sleep better, as awful as that might sound, having the entire bed and collection of pillows to myself, and no one to worry about waking up the couple of times I got up to use the bathroom or grunt as I try to roll my pregnant belly over to the other side because my hip bone feels like it's popping out of its socket. I went to bed around 11, but didn't fall asleep until after 1 a.m., only to wake up less than five hours later. I stayed on my side of the bed and only used the one pillow I usually keep tucked between my knees and under my belly. I felt anxious in that big bed all alone.


And earlier in the evening, I made the mistake of listening to the collection of songs we put together as a memento for our wedding guests three years ago. We've been doing a lot of spring cleaning lately and I came across a couple of extras we had in a pile of other CDs. It's a pretty romantic collection to begin with; add nearly eight months of pregnancy on top of that and you can imagine the tears welling up in my eyes not 30 seconds into the first track. As a kind of comic relief, though, I noticed while reading the list of songs on the paper insert we included, that there was a minor typo on track 6 for Gladys Knight's Midnight Train to George...I mean, Georgia. I think that CD will be a good one to listen to from time to time over the next few months.

Needless to say, I look forward to sharing the bed again tonight, and the back rub that's become pretty standard each morning as we ignore our hungry cats a few minutes longer.