book smarts

Since the semester finally wound down a few weeks ago the baby's co-creator and I have been hitting the books, so to speak, catching up on the free classes offered by the hospital where we'll labor and deliver, and a two-weekend intensive class through a maternity center designed to prepare us as best as possible for a natural childbirth. The hospital offers a half-dozen classes, on the logistics of getting ready for the hospital stay (what to pack, when to call, etc.), the stages of labor and birth, breastfeeding basics, infant care & behavior, etc. We attended the latter class today, which involved looking at pictures of "normal" newborn appearance (cone-shaped heads, blue extremities, baby acne, etc.), watching a video, the content of which already kind of escapes me because I was so transfixed by the babies they showed from only days old to 3-6 months or so, and a sponge bath performed on a newborn. It just so happened that the newborn belonged to a couple in the labor & birth class we took a couple of weeks ago. It still amazes me that one day you have a nice, round belly, and the next you have this fully formed, perfect little person...

Anyway, I was pretty amazed the new parents were so generous with their little one, letting us watch as she received only the second sponge bath of her life. Especially considering how obnoxious one of the audience members was, interrupting the nurse, talking loudly even when the baby started fussing, standing a little too close to the bassinet, etc. This particular couple arrived 30 minutes late and interjected one crazy pregnancy or parenting myth or old wives tale after another. I realize having a baby is a huge, overwhelming feat but most women, by the time they're 7+ months pregnant, as she was, have some of the basics down, at least in theory.

So we're feeling a little "classed out", so to speak, at least as far as the hospital workshops are considered, and we made it to most of them, anyway. Our weekend intensive class, on the other hand, I really enjoyed and look forward to its conclusion this Sunday. The first day flew by! Like the shorter classes we've taken at the hospital, this one was accompanied by various props, including a couple of baby dolls, a plush pelvis, and even a knitted uterus with a removable vagina. I don't know what it is about those dolls, but every time an instructor pushes one out through the plush pelvis, my partner and I can hardly keep ourselves from laughing out loud. Especially the first time, when the instructor was demonstrating how babies have this incredible ability to raise their head up as they wriggle their shoulders out (and then of course, their necks go back to their wobbly states for the next three months). We were sitting at the opposite end of the table, this baby doll looking straight at us, its body still fully contained in the imaginary uterus represented by the instructor's hands. It was like the baby doll was about to take flight, right over the table and into our laps. But I digress...before I knew it, we were concluding the more recent, day-long class with yet another birth video. As usual, I managed to keep it together for most of the footage, until the moment the baby was actually born. Gets me every time. If I'm not laughing inappropriately, then I'm the only one in the room crying.

Anyway, I'll be back this weekend (or so) with an updated (8 months!) belly pic...