8 weeks (and 3 days...but who's counting?)

Elias is fast approaching his two month birthday, which is pretty hard to believe. It's true what people tell you when you first have a baby and you're in the thick of it, those first few crazy weeks - they really do become a blur as you look back. The two-month mark will probably be a blur by the time we hit three months, and so on. We have friends who recently added a wee member to their family and I remember thinking a few months ago that at 7-8 weeks postpartum by the time they had their baby we'd be old pros at this game. Here are some things we've learned - and learned to ignore - over the past couple of months (based on "anti-advice" Neal sent the new parents and gave me permission to "re-print" here):

1. Sleep when the baby sleeps - This is great advice... assuming that the baby sleeps. If you've been keeping up on Becky's blog (this here blog that you're reading right now) you'll know that this is not always the case. Even by the calculations of most "authoritative" books, babies don't have that much time during the day for sleep. They say babies should eat 8-12 times a day for the first couple of weeks (make that months). But breastfeeding can take from 30 minutes to 1 hour, especially in the beginning. And yet the books also recommend that babies should have about 16 hours of sleep a day (typical self-contradictory advice: never wake a sleeping baby VS don't let your baby go longer than 4 hours without feeding him). Let's pause to consider this. At the upper end, you may be feeding your baby 12 hours during the day, and then he is supposed to be asleep for the rest of the...um ...16. So every second that your baby is not feeding he will be asleep. Congrats if this is the case for you guys.

Lack of sleep certainly sucks, but I actually found that, with all of the stresses and uncertainties of newborn care, it was not high on my list of worries.

2. Relax and don't try to get things done - Regardless of your intention to devote your full time to the baby and not "get things done," there are some things that you have to get done: eating, going to the bathroom, showering, washing baby paraphernalia. And then less essential things that you'll probably want to do occasionally: calling relatives and friends, checking email, doing your usual chores. So many of the books advised that we should just "let the dishes pile up." But how is having to wash a huge mound of dishes after 3 days much better than washing a few dishes after each meal? And you know when a great time to do these things is: when the baby sleeps. Don't feel guilty if you want to "get stuff done."

3. Breastfeeding Uber Alles - Everybody who says breastfeeding is hard is right. If it makes you absolutely miserable, please peruse this handy article. But don't switch to formula without trying a nipple shield first. $5 at Babies R Us. Some experts poo-poo them (they inhibit milk flow, create bad habits, yadda yadda yadda), but they can be miracle products (for a while at least).

Basically, what I've come to feel is that most of the guidelines and admonitions forced on parents by the baby industrial complex are there to give you something to focus on while you learn how to take care of the individual needs of your very unique baby. One piece of GOOD advice I read was that if your newborn is still alive after the first 2 weeks you've done a great job.

tummy time

hey batter

This outfit is standard issue for any baby born in Boston.


I'm kidding, actually. A student of mine was kind enough to send some baby-appropriate Red Sox gear when she found out that he had none, aside from a baseball cap that's obviously intended to be team affiliated but unofficially. Even if you're not into baseball, you've got to admit, Elias looks pretty cute supporting his home team.


Thanks, Erin!

circle of babies

Today was the last meeting of my mom's group. These kinds of pictures are, I think, pretty routine for these kinds of groups. Pretty cute, huh? Elias is in the bottom left corner. It's amazing how quickly the time went by and yet how much each of the babies grew over the five week period. I think I've been slightly less frazzled the past couple of weeks, but I still can't seem to make it there by 10 with all of the following accomplished: baby fed and diapered, mom showered, teeth brushed, breakfast consumed, hair dried, makeup on. There was one week where I actually realized I'd completely forgotten to brush my teeth on the way there. Fortunately I had some gum with me, but that was definitely a "you know you're a new parent when..." moment.

A lot has changed since that first meeting, when Elias was not yet three weeks old. And yet sometimes I feel like most of what continues to keep us on our toes has to do with feeding and digestion. Despite all our efforts, Elias's spitting up hasn't dramatically improved over the past three weeks. There's been some improvement, but I can't say that baby Zantac changed my life, or that eliminating dairy from my diet totally turned things around. Elias is not, in fact, a completely different baby as a result of any of these things. He does seem to be a little more content generally, a little less physically uncomfortable. But he still spits up an insane amount and there are times when he literally cries out because of it. We still have a bit over a week to go on the dairy elimination diet before we go back to the pedi, and honestly I wasn't very vigilant about hidden dairy (dairy is in everything) until a day or two ago, when it dawned on me that there's an awful lot of butter in those cookies I enjoyed over the weekend, even though I skipped the tall glass of milk. There are times when such a strict diet seems very do-able; if vegans can do it, then certainly I can do it, especially with eggs and meat thrown in. I think the thing that frustrates me - aside from the fact that I'm not sure it's helping - are all the "non-dairy" products that have milk or milk derivatives in them. Like soy yogurt, for example. The live active cultures are milk-based. Why else would you eat soy yogurt? For the oh so delicious taste?

Anyway, I'll certainly stick it out for another week or so. And then I look forward to the dairy challenge, during which I'll reintroduce a bit of dairy (ice cream, anyone?) to my diet and see how Elias reacts. Of course, if it is a milk allergy that's causing some if not all of his digestive issues, his reaction will not be pleasant, but the eating ice cream part sure will be.

escape artist

Elias is not a big fan of the daytime naps. At least not the ones that take place in the bassinet or crib. In case you're not intimately familiar with the SwaddleMe blanket, the fabric underneath his legs should be over his legs and tucked up under the part that's wrapped around his torso...oh, and his arm should be inside there, too. These wraps were way too big for him initially, which is why we used the receiving blankets in "super swaddle" mode. But now that these fit, they're much easier to use, and a little lighter in this warm summer weather. He doesn't seem to like the swaddle much, and I'm not sure we'll be able to restrain him much longer, but he does tend to sleep a little better if he's wrapped up tight.

Napping sans swaddle on Mom or Dad, on the other hand, is just fine.


Even though I'm in no rush to get Elias out of our room at night, I think we're going to attempt transitioning to daytime naps in the crib. I'm not convinced the bassinet portion of the pack 'n' play that we've been using so far is really meant for extended use. It's starting to sag a bit in the middle. Plus, it'll be nice to slowly transfer portions of the baby encampment out of the bedroom and into other areas of the apartment. That is, if it works.

7 weeks is the new 6 weeks

Okay, I know I shouldn't be blogging about this because I'll only jinx it, but Elias has had a really great few days. Everyone talks about the first six weeks being the hardest, and maybe what they mean is the difficulty peaks at six weeks and then starts to get easier from then on, because I feel like we've started to turn a corner as we approach the 7 week mark today. The spitting up has continued to improve over the past week, we've experienced very little fussiness during the past three evenings, and last night we enjoyed another six-hour stretch of sleep. Well, six hours between feedings, which translates to a good five hours of sleep for Mom and Dad. And, it was the first night all week that Elias has gone right back to sleep after his middle-of-the-night feeding. Wow. I can't tell you how refreshed I'm feeling this morning, especially considering I've been battling a sinusy head cold over the past few days. Being a sick mama is no fun.

On the topic of spitting up, our pediatrician last week recommended we stay on the Zantac for now. Hopefully if things continue to improve we can think about weaning him off in another couple of months. I'd prefer he not stay on it into toddlerhood as seems to be the case with so many infants treated for reflux. And it's hard to know if the slight improvement is a result of the drugs or other measures we've taken over the past couple of weeks. In addition to some changes in feeding strategies, I think we've gotten a lot better about burping him. And realizing he's just a "windy" baby, we've also been administering gas drops after meals, which have made a big difference during that second stretch of night sleep in particular. There were a few nights last week where I swear he grunted every 15 minutes for the entire three hours or so between his night feeding and waking up for the day. And finally, in case he has an allergy to the protein in cow's milk, which shares many symptoms with reflux and is apparently pretty common, I've stopped eating obvious dairy products. I don't mind it too much, except for the fact that Neal had just brought home a carton of Haagen Dazs' new Fleur de Sel Caramel ice cream when I decided to change my diet. I'd tried cutting out dairy for a day or two a week before but apparently it can take up to three weeks to see any improvement, since it takes a week to ten days for the protein to get out of Mom's system, and another week to ten days to be completely out of baby's system.

When we're not spending the two or three hours between feedings dealing with spit-up, Elias and I have enjoyed regular boppy pillow time, during which we smile and coo at each other for a good half-hour stretch several times a day. Here's video from this morning.



Some of the fussiness seems to have been replaced by simply chilling out, whether it be on the boppy or being carried around, taking it all in. Here he is looking at an Andy Warhol print we have in the living room, the only thing to distract him from the mesmerizing flicker of the forbidden television screen.


Otherwise, most of the pics I took this week are of Elias in various ridiculously cute outfits, now that he's finally fitting into most of his 0-3 month wardrobe, like this one:


It's true.

These are some pretty snappy pj's he wore to my mom's group on Thursday, since it was a little chilly that day and we have very little non-summer clothing that he actually fits into that wasn't dirty at the time (turns out he's not a big fan of pants that I could have just thrown over a simple onesie):


He's a little fussy in the picture but he had a great time during the group meeting (more about that in another post). And finally, here's an outfit he hadn't worn that I realized he probably won't fit into much longer (he's also sporting quite the double chin in this particular pose).


So many cute outfits, so little time spent in the 0-3 month range!

6 weeks

...equals 6 hours of sleep? Well, for one night at least. Elias went on his first trip this past weekend, to visit family a couple of hours away. We went duck pin bowling, enjoyed hot dogs and cupcakes, had some quality "quiet alert" time with the cousins, and slept for nearly 6 hours straight Saturday night! He slept a fair amount that day, being in the car seat more than usual, so I thought for sure we'd be up all night, not getting to sleep until a bit after 10 p.m. So imagine my surprise when I woke up for the middle of the night feeding, got set up to feed him and glanced at the clock. I couldn't believe it was almost 4 a.m.

Anyway, last night wasn't exactly a repeat so I don't think that's the norm just yet. Neal and I attribute it in part to the cool, quiet sleeping quarters. As I think I've mentioned before, it's difficult to keep our apartment any cooler than about 74 or 75 degrees, unless of course it's unusually cool outside...which it hasn't been all summer.

Overall, Elias did pretty well on his first road trip. He did seem a little extra cranky yesterday afternoon when we got home, though. I think I underestimate how much of a routine we've actually established over the past six weeks. No morning bottle with Daddy, or chilling out time on the front porch, no bouncy seat during breakfast or smiling at the kissing fishes.


No afternoon nap with Mama.


So far we're back on track today. I'm especially looking forward to resuming that afternoon nap.