Thursday, February 5, 2009

a day in the life

Elias is taking a nice, long nap at the moment (wow, I'm surprised he didn't wake up as I typed that). Just as he was getting over his first real cold this past weekend, he seems to have picked up a stomach bug. Without going into all the gory details, let's just say I changed a lot of diapers yesterday. And last night. Poor guy. When I called our pediatrician's office - just to make sure I had all my bases covered - the first question the triage nurse asked was if he's in daycare. I responded that no, he's at home with me (probably bored out of his mind by now!), but then it dawned on me that the mom's group reunion I blogged about last time was basically a daycare-like experience. Surrounded by about 9 or 10 other babies, everyone crawling around on the floor of an indoor play area in a mall. Yikes! That place has got to be a hotbed for germs, especially this time of year! Anyway, last night was a little rough until about midnight. Then Elias slept until I woke him up this morning around 7:45. He seems to be making up for it now and otherwise seems to be feeling better.

So I thought I'd use this time to at least begin a post about something that's been on my mind lately. Routines. Schedules. I was always pretty amazed when people would ask about Elias's feeding or nap schedule during the first six months of his life. I find it kind of humorous now. A little more predictability was definitely something I longed for those first few months, but even if I'd wanted to put Elias on some sort of schedule, I really don't see how it would have been possible. Like trying to herd cats.



We definitely had a routine but exactly when Elias would be ready to eat, sleep, or play, was a mystery that unfolded according to a slightly different schedule every day. Lately, though, I've definitely felt like I have a little more control over how our day plays out. I was fascinated to read sample schedules those first few months, so I thought I'd run you through a typical day in the Grigsby household.

Elias has been known to wake up for the day as early as 5 a.m. but we're pretty fortunate - for now, at least - in that he usually stays asleep until sometime between about 6:30 and 7:15. When we all shared one room, we got in this habit of "canoodling" with him in our bed for a bit before we officially started the day and that's a tradition we've continued now that one of us has to walk across the apartment to fetch him. I usually get the morning routine going - diaper change, cereal, clothes (it's pointless to get him dressed before he has cereal, which is likely to get all over the place) - while Neal showers. Then we switch and I take a shower while Neal gives him his first bottle of the day. In warmer times we got in the habit of enjoying a little "outside time" after the bottle, also one of the ways we learned to keep Elias upright for the recommended 20 to 30 minutes, which we still do even though his reflux has calmed down considerably over the past few weeks. Of course, now that the temperatures are barely into the double-digits in the morning, "outside time" usually consists of looking out the window of our storm door. Long after we started this tradition, I read in one of the many sleep books that exposing your baby to bright, natural light early in the day can help set his or her internal clock to something that more closely resembles your internal clock.

After that, Elias hangs out in his high chair while we eat breakfast, down a cup of coffee, and quickly check email and the weather for the day. He has a pile of high chair toys and diversions that takes up an entire placemat. After that we get the morning going with some floor time. I try to sneak in some yoga poses and stretches while Elias perfects his backwards crawl. He used to seem ready for a nap around two hours after he'd woken up for the day, but that's been stretching out lately closer to two and a half or three hours. So usually around 9:30 or 10 I try to wind things down with a book or two (I often wonder how successful this tactic is when he tries desperately to get the book out of my hands and into his mouth). When he's ready (yawning and rubbing his eyes are his primary sleepy cues) I slip him into his sleepsack, turn on his SoundSpa, and pull the tail of his musical elephant "lovey." He has a small Taggies blanket and bear/blanket lovey as well, but this elephant is truly a "transitional object," the music continuing while I'm holding him, placing him in the crib, and eventually walking out the door. Sometimes he fusses for a bit, but mainly coos and babbles for about ten minutes before it gets quiet.

At that point, I do the morning dishes and finish getting ready for the day. When we switched rooms, I had the idea that I'd get up before Elias and get myself ready so that I wouldn't have to spend half of his nap drying my hair, putting on makeup, etc. But the few times I've gotten up before him, he's started babbling the second I close the bathroom door. I don't know if it's coincidence, but I'm back to usually sleeping as long as he does and using that first nap to finish my own morning routine. I don't know what I'll do when he drops the morning nap. Probably what I did those first few months. Hopefully, however, I'll remember to brush my teeth.

The morning nap lasts anywhere from 45 minutes to about an hour and a half. I usually just give him a bottle after he wakes up, around 11 or so. Lately I've been trying to introduce a solid feeding around this time but three meals a day seems like too much for him still. The mid-day cycle is the one I usually use to get out, going to a playgroup, meeting with a friend, running an errand. It's frustrating, though, because even if I leave immediately after giving him a bottle and stay relatively close to home, he almost always falls sleep in the car on the way back, sabotaging the afternoon nap, which is usually a bit of a challenge to begin with. I don't see how 15 minutes in the car can be all that restorative, but it usually means he'll be awake until close to the time he's hungry again, leaving me with the dilemma: do I try to get him to take a nap, which will surely be cut short by hunger, or try to feed him first and hope for a late afternoon nap. And even on the rare day that I decide getting out is just not worth it, the afternoon nap is still elusive. Even if I successfully get him to fall asleep, if he took a decent nap in the morning, he rarely sleeps for more than an hour at that point.

I've read that it's this final stretch of wakefulness that's ideal for getting out (since getting out during the middle of the day, as I've experienced over and over again, risks losing the afternoon nap entirely), but there are two things that usually keep me in - rush hour, which seems to start with a vengeance around here by about 3 p.m., and the fact that, right now at least, it's dark by about 5. I think as it gets lighter out later and warmer this will be a great time for a walk. For now, at least, we follow another meal of cereal and veggies with a bottle and some more indoor activity time.

Neal finishes work around 5 (did I mention he works from home...I know, I'm a lucky gal) and we debate what's for dinner for awhile. I'm usually ready to hand Elias off for a bit around then but I really dislike and am fairly incompetent at making dinner. So Neal usually does the deed while I hang out with the baby for a bit longer, then he enjoys a little more high chair time while we eat. After that I clean up while Elias enjoys some Daddy time. Around 6:30 or 7 we begin the bedtime routine, which includes a bath (full bath twice a week, bubble bath other nights), a bottle, a few books, and listening to lullabies. Lately, we've both been putting him down for the night and this seems to be working pretty well. He's usually out sometime between 7:30 and 8. Sometimes I feel like this is a bit late, but despite efforts otherwise, it just seems impossible to get him to bed much before then.

Then I squander the rest of the evening on Facebook.

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