8 months

Here's Elias at 8 months (and 3 days) with the Guitar Hero guitar. Even three days into month nine, I'm having a hard time believing it's been over eight months since Elias was born. Time always goes by too fast, but it seems like we've been in fast forward since somewhere between six and seven months. Maybe it's because that was a sort of turning point for us, when both the reflux and sleep situations began to improve. Our days are a lot more predictable now than they were a couple of months ago and I suppose that makes the time seem to go a little faster as well. Either way, it's true what the adults are always saying. They really do grow up so fast. Here's a little video footage of Elias interacting with the guitar this morning.



It's a little long, but you can get a sense of how our mornings play out, crawling around the carpet in his nursery for hours at a time.

So what's new this month? Mainly, a continuation of what Elias was busy working on last month. He quickly moved from rolling over and figuring out how to get himself from his tummy to a seated position to crawling pretty well. It's amazing how quickly it happened. One week the sitting thing was new and by the next week he was getting himself from point A to point B without rolling over in order to do it. He's still a little wobbly and takes frequent sitting breaks and he's only escaped from the nursery into the kitchen a couple of times, but I have a feeling we'll need to be thinking more seriously about baby proofing this apartment by the weekend.


Mobility and teething are, I'm hoping, to blame for a few nights a week lately when we seem to take a step or two backward in the sleep department. It's still infinitely better than the dark days of late December and early January, but he has nights where it takes him a half-hour to settle down and/or a little more crying than usual and/or he wakes up once or twice in the middle of the night, usually settling himself back down within a couple of minutes but occasionally prompting one of us to go in and check on him. Last night, for example, we tried to get him to bed a little earlier than usual since he'd had a short and sort of early afternoon nap. He was obviously exhausted but it took him about an hour to finally fall asleep, from the time we first put him in his crib to the time he finally quieted down. Then he woke up crying around 1 a.m. I'm still not sure what woke him, but after a diaper change, an application of Orajel, and a little swaying with Mom, he was back asleep after only a couple minutes of fussing. I was surprised but grateful for that. I, on the other hand, took considerably longer to fall back asleep. It's amazing how quickly your body and mind forget what this night-waking thing is like.

Also contributing to these recent challenges, I'm sure, has been a bout of separation anxiety, which seems to be better the past week or so, perhaps because we spend a lot of our time playing peek-a-boo.


Perhaps Elias is starting to understand that when I walk out the door, I have not in fact disappeared completely.

On a positive note, I can finally feel the sharp edges of one of his top teeth as of this morning, which seem to have been coming in for a few days now, so hopefully this latest bout of teething will come to an end soon. It doesn't seem to be bothering him quite as much as the first set a couple of months ago, but it seems to be taking a bit longer. Otherwise, Elias has been doing a lot of babbling lately, initially making the "da da" sound and then just a couple of days ago introducing a long "mmmm" that eventually turned into "mmmmom" and then "ma ma." Over and over again. It's completely indiscriminate, of course, but exciting nonetheless. It makes me wonder, though, when do you count a combination of vowels and consonants as a first word? I'll try to get the babbling on video and post that shortly. In the meantime, I'll leave you with another short video I took this morning, as Elias crawls toward me to get his slobbery little hands on the camera.

obey Eli

Speaking of art, I took Elias to Boston's Institute of Contemporary Art this morning to see the Foster Prize and Shepard Fairey exhibits. Because of the holiday on Monday, my class met today instead and rather than try to get Neal to re-arrange his work week, I thought I'd schedule a field trip and get away with a little double duty.


We were only at the museum for about an hour, but Elias was a well-behaved visitor until we were on our way out, when he decided he didn't want to use his indoor voice any longer. Otherwise, the trip was a success and now I'm thinking of all the other museums and indoor spots I'd like to take him while the weather is still less than ideal for outings.


It's timely, then, that we should receive this lovely hand-knitted hat from our friend Jess.


Cute, huh? I like the colors - warm gray (can a neutral color be warm?) and a sort of turquoise/teal. And the ear-flaps. Very clever. Lovely. As are her other creations and prints, several of which you can purchase here. I love Etsy, don't you?

any resemblance to actual Cheerios is pure coincidence

When I started this blog in the summer months of 2007, before I was even pregnant with Elias, I thought I might write a bit about the relationship between creativity and motherhood. It's becoming a pretty tired idea by now, but I think the pressure still exists for artists, female artists in particular, to sacrifice a lot of other things in order to pursue their practice full-time. When I decided to major in art in college (the first real step I took toward taking art seriously, despite being one of the "artistic" kids all my life), I never imagined I'd have much in common with the gal who wants to be the CEO of a company, feeling like if I got married and had kids that would place any limits on my capacity to create and promote my work as an artist. But it does take an awful lot of time and energy to be an artist. Like being a mother, being an artist is much more than a full-time job. And I'm not one of those artists who has to create art in order to survive; for better or worse, I've discovered a lot of different ways to satisfy my need to be creative and well, make stuff. I always wondered, though, if part of the reason why I knew so many female artists who never had kids, or had an only child in their late 30s or early 40s, was perhaps because the constant production and creative thinking satisfied some of the urge to procreate.

Anyway, I'm sure someone's written a book about this very dynamic. As it concerns me, turns out having a child, while it is probably the single most fulfilling experience of my life so far, has not in fact satisfied my need to make stuff. My time is, of course, very limited, but I have managed to carve out some space for continuing my practice as an artist. For the most part, I'll save these kinds of posts for my other blog, but should I happen to have a baby blog reader who's not a regular visitor to my other blog, I thought I'd do a little double duty in introducing a new project I'm working on. Products from the Makery will be posted to the blog - fresh! - every Monday. Every product/post will be part of an ongoing giveaway so if you like what you see, leave me a comment on that blog post and I'll put your name in a random drawing at the end of the week to determine who, for example, will be able to put these slightly functional, but mostly decorative magnets on their fridge.


You can read more about the inaugural product of the Makery here.

E.A.S.Y., right?

I don't have to read Secrets of the Baby Whisperer to know that, contrary to the basic premise of the book (which suggests a routine of eating, followed by activity and then sleep, and, as I've seen on more than one blog, "as a bonus," time for you), it's just not that simple. Nor does every day here in the Grigsby household play out according to the very tidy schedule I outlined here. Some things just work better on paper (or on a blog, as the case may be). The one thing I failed to include, however (whether every day unfolds like this or not), is just what do I do with all that me-time?

A couple of months ago, when naps were particularly elusive and, when they did happen, varied greatly in duration, I came up with a daily schedule of chores and activities. In case you hadn't already guessed it, this will undoubtedly reveal my obsessive-compulsive tendencies, and I should preface it by saying that my success rate at actually keeping to this schedule is only 50 to 75%, at best, but I share this with the idea that perhaps it will be helpful to someone else. I found that even when Elias did finally nap, I'd get little done because I never knew how long he'd be asleep. I'd take care of the high-priority items (go to the bathroom, eat, mix formula, etc.) and then, not knowing how much time I had left, I'd usually check my email and then waste the rest of the nap aimlessly wandering the Web. The idea behind creating a schedule of different rooms to clean and other chores and activities to take care of on certain days eliminated any thought-process that might otherwise be necessary in deciding what to do during a given nap. Having something to jump right in on also helped counter the anxiety I would feel once I finally got Elias to sleep. So, for example, on Tuesdays, as soon as Elias goes down for his afternoon nap (the morning nap being mostly spoken for with dishes, getting ready for the day, checking email, etc.), I clean the bathroom. Then there are certain days that are better for different activities and errands (for example, now we go to Gymboree on Thursdays and Fridays, so Tuesdays and Wednesdays are my errand-running and otherwise-getting-out days) and other tasks (paying bills, for example) that I try to accomplish during the week. I find that I'm most successful keeping up with basic cleaning and other things (like going grocery shopping, for some reason) tend to get done on the weekends. The goal, I guess, is to take care of this kind of stuff during the week so that we can spend time together as a family or, when Neal takes Elias for awhile, I can enjoy some true "me time" on the weekend.

Now, if you have a house with more than four or five rooms, this probably won't work for you. Or you'll have to clean more than one room each day. Or, if you can afford a home that big, maybe you should think about allocating some of your monthly budget to a housekeeper. I do miss having the time to clean the entire apartment in one two- or three-hour chunk. There's something very satisfying about the entire place being spotless at one time, even if it only lasts fifteen minutes. But unless I want to spend half of my Saturday cleaning while Neal hangs out with the baby, I'm willing to settle for this rotating cycle of clean.

Speaking of Gymboree, I might add that Elias and I have been going to their "play & learn" class for about a month now and added the first level of their music program as of yesterday. The first couple of groups I joined, while there was, obviously, a lot of discussion about our babies' development, books to read, activities to do, etc., were primarily focused on the moms - socializing, co-ruminating, making plans for lunch, etc. Around the 6-month mark, I felt like I'd developed a large enough social circle of other new moms and wanted the focus of whatever class we signed up for at that point to be on Elias. So far I'm pretty happy with Gymboree although, for a class that only lasts 45 minutes, there's still too much discussion time. It's not that I don't enjoy chatting with other parents and caregivers, but the group I joined has been meeting together since their babies were just a few weeks old. Add to that the fact that I'm going to the Gymboree in a town that is like a lot of towns and neighborhoods in and around Boston in that it has a distinctly local feel to it. It's kind of like accidentally stumbling into a "townie bar." With your baby. And your ever so subtle California accent.


Anyway, today we started class by helping our little ones make glittery Valentine's Day-themed hand print flowers (a little random, no?). You can see that by the third "flower" Elias finally opened his fist (like a rose blooming, if you will) and allowed us to record his full hand print. Then he screamed his little head off as I tried to wash the hot pink paint off of his hand. Guess I should do more arts & crafts with this kid, huh?

Happy Valentine's Day!

spring fever

We're enjoying a bit of a thaw around here this weekend so we decided to take advantage of the break in the weekly (or thereabouts, since around mid-December) snowstorms to take a walk. Outside! All three of us! We went to one of my local mainstays in warmer weather, Dorchester's own Pope John Paul Park along the Neponset River Reservation, but the trail was still a bit slippery, so we took a side street to a nearby playground where Elias enjoyed some highly supervised swinging:


Sliding:


And seesawing:


I don't know about you, but I'm ready for spring.

In other news, Elias pushed himself from his tummy into a seated position all by himself for the first time this morning:



I thought that must be what he'd been working on over the past week or so as he got himself into downward facing dog over and over again but then didn't seem to know what to do next. This is exciting stuff, of course, but now that he can move from all fours onto his bottom, he seems even less interested in crawling...forward, at least. Maybe he'll be a scooter instead (if you've never seen a baby do the butt scoot, check out a few returns from these search results on YouTube...wild, huh?).

a day in the life

Elias is taking a nice, long nap at the moment (wow, I'm surprised he didn't wake up as I typed that). Just as he was getting over his first real cold this past weekend, he seems to have picked up a stomach bug. Without going into all the gory details, let's just say I changed a lot of diapers yesterday. And last night. Poor guy. When I called our pediatrician's office - just to make sure I had all my bases covered - the first question the triage nurse asked was if he's in daycare. I responded that no, he's at home with me (probably bored out of his mind by now!), but then it dawned on me that the mom's group reunion I blogged about last time was basically a daycare-like experience. Surrounded by about 9 or 10 other babies, everyone crawling around on the floor of an indoor play area in a mall. Yikes! That place has got to be a hotbed for germs, especially this time of year! Anyway, last night was a little rough until about midnight. Then Elias slept until I woke him up this morning around 7:45. He seems to be making up for it now and otherwise seems to be feeling better.

So I thought I'd use this time to at least begin a post about something that's been on my mind lately. Routines. Schedules. I was always pretty amazed when people would ask about Elias's feeding or nap schedule during the first six months of his life. I find it kind of humorous now. A little more predictability was definitely something I longed for those first few months, but even if I'd wanted to put Elias on some sort of schedule, I really don't see how it would have been possible. Like trying to herd cats.



We definitely had a routine but exactly when Elias would be ready to eat, sleep, or play, was a mystery that unfolded according to a slightly different schedule every day. Lately, though, I've definitely felt like I have a little more control over how our day plays out. I was fascinated to read sample schedules those first few months, so I thought I'd run you through a typical day in the Grigsby household.

Elias has been known to wake up for the day as early as 5 a.m. but we're pretty fortunate - for now, at least - in that he usually stays asleep until sometime between about 6:30 and 7:15. When we all shared one room, we got in this habit of "canoodling" with him in our bed for a bit before we officially started the day and that's a tradition we've continued now that one of us has to walk across the apartment to fetch him. I usually get the morning routine going - diaper change, cereal, clothes (it's pointless to get him dressed before he has cereal, which is likely to get all over the place) - while Neal showers. Then we switch and I take a shower while Neal gives him his first bottle of the day. In warmer times we got in the habit of enjoying a little "outside time" after the bottle, also one of the ways we learned to keep Elias upright for the recommended 20 to 30 minutes, which we still do even though his reflux has calmed down considerably over the past few weeks. Of course, now that the temperatures are barely into the double-digits in the morning, "outside time" usually consists of looking out the window of our storm door. Long after we started this tradition, I read in one of the many sleep books that exposing your baby to bright, natural light early in the day can help set his or her internal clock to something that more closely resembles your internal clock.

After that, Elias hangs out in his high chair while we eat breakfast, down a cup of coffee, and quickly check email and the weather for the day. He has a pile of high chair toys and diversions that takes up an entire placemat. After that we get the morning going with some floor time. I try to sneak in some yoga poses and stretches while Elias perfects his backwards crawl. He used to seem ready for a nap around two hours after he'd woken up for the day, but that's been stretching out lately closer to two and a half or three hours. So usually around 9:30 or 10 I try to wind things down with a book or two (I often wonder how successful this tactic is when he tries desperately to get the book out of my hands and into his mouth). When he's ready (yawning and rubbing his eyes are his primary sleepy cues) I slip him into his sleepsack, turn on his SoundSpa, and pull the tail of his musical elephant "lovey." He has a small Taggies blanket and bear/blanket lovey as well, but this elephant is truly a "transitional object," the music continuing while I'm holding him, placing him in the crib, and eventually walking out the door. Sometimes he fusses for a bit, but mainly coos and babbles for about ten minutes before it gets quiet.

At that point, I do the morning dishes and finish getting ready for the day. When we switched rooms, I had the idea that I'd get up before Elias and get myself ready so that I wouldn't have to spend half of his nap drying my hair, putting on makeup, etc. But the few times I've gotten up before him, he's started babbling the second I close the bathroom door. I don't know if it's coincidence, but I'm back to usually sleeping as long as he does and using that first nap to finish my own morning routine. I don't know what I'll do when he drops the morning nap. Probably what I did those first few months. Hopefully, however, I'll remember to brush my teeth.

The morning nap lasts anywhere from 45 minutes to about an hour and a half. I usually just give him a bottle after he wakes up, around 11 or so. Lately I've been trying to introduce a solid feeding around this time but three meals a day seems like too much for him still. The mid-day cycle is the one I usually use to get out, going to a playgroup, meeting with a friend, running an errand. It's frustrating, though, because even if I leave immediately after giving him a bottle and stay relatively close to home, he almost always falls sleep in the car on the way back, sabotaging the afternoon nap, which is usually a bit of a challenge to begin with. I don't see how 15 minutes in the car can be all that restorative, but it usually means he'll be awake until close to the time he's hungry again, leaving me with the dilemma: do I try to get him to take a nap, which will surely be cut short by hunger, or try to feed him first and hope for a late afternoon nap. And even on the rare day that I decide getting out is just not worth it, the afternoon nap is still elusive. Even if I successfully get him to fall asleep, if he took a decent nap in the morning, he rarely sleeps for more than an hour at that point.

I've read that it's this final stretch of wakefulness that's ideal for getting out (since getting out during the middle of the day, as I've experienced over and over again, risks losing the afternoon nap entirely), but there are two things that usually keep me in - rush hour, which seems to start with a vengeance around here by about 3 p.m., and the fact that, right now at least, it's dark by about 5. I think as it gets lighter out later and warmer this will be a great time for a walk. For now, at least, we follow another meal of cereal and veggies with a bottle and some more indoor activity time.

Neal finishes work around 5 (did I mention he works from home...I know, I'm a lucky gal) and we debate what's for dinner for awhile. I'm usually ready to hand Elias off for a bit around then but I really dislike and am fairly incompetent at making dinner. So Neal usually does the deed while I hang out with the baby for a bit longer, then he enjoys a little more high chair time while we eat. After that I clean up while Elias enjoys some Daddy time. Around 6:30 or 7 we begin the bedtime routine, which includes a bath (full bath twice a week, bubble bath other nights), a bottle, a few books, and listening to lullabies. Lately, we've both been putting him down for the night and this seems to be working pretty well. He's usually out sometime between 7:30 and 8. Sometimes I feel like this is a bit late, but despite efforts otherwise, it just seems impossible to get him to bed much before then.

Then I squander the rest of the evening on Facebook.

I can't move my arms!

Elias and I finally managed to make it to a reunion of our first moms' group. There've been a couple get-togethers planned since that group concluded shortly before Elias's 2-month birthday, but we've never been able to make it until this weekend.


It was fun to see how all the babies have grown over the past five (gasp!) months. It's interesting to see what different babies are up to, who's still breastfeeding, who's eating what, if and when everyone's sleeping, etc. Elias seemed to enjoy himself, although I think seeing so many other babbling, trying-to-crawl babies was a little overstimulating for him.


In other news, we finally bought Elias a winter bunting, something we probably should have had a couple of months ago. Thank goodness for the carseat/stroller BundleMe. I've just been waiting for some older lady to scold me for dressing my baby in little more than a hoodie. At this point in the year, it's not something I wanted to pay full price for, but at more than half off the original price I figured it was worth it. And regardless of whether or not the groundhog sees his shadow tomorrow, I'm sure Elias will be able to wear his bunting for months to come. Anyway, we took a test drive yesterday after we brought it home, just to make sure it fits and makes Elias look ridiculously adorable.