I'm sorry, I'm just a little pregnant here

Yep, you read that right. Eli will be a big brother in January!  This information is barely public and I've already had to send one of these apology cards.  I blame being pregnant on top of 2012 being, so far, pretty much the most stressful 6-month period of my life. Ever. Hopefully the recipient understands.  Backing up, however, as I feel I must always preface this announcement by explaining that no, we didn't decide to get pregnant after the primary wage-earner in the family lost his job - it happened right before. And by the time we sensed that things were brewing at work and put family planning on hold, it was too late.  After I wrote this post last summer, we decided we'd starting trying for baby #2 this spring.  Training for the Oakland Marathon figured in perfectly, one of several last hurrah's, if you will, before surrendering to pregnancy, nursing (with any luck), and the general chaos of having a newborn, infant, and then toddler (plus Elias, of course). After I completed the marathon in late March, it was baby-making open season.  And it didn't take long, which, despite the timing not being perfect for now at least, I'm pretty grateful for.

So how has this pregnancy compared to my pregnancy with Elias?  Wow, what a difference four and a half years makes!  I took an early test on the day we got the news that Neal was being "let go" (I didn't think I was pregnant since we hadn't tried for too long, but I wanted to be sure because if I wasn't you better believe I was going to enjoy a beer that night). It seems I enjoy coordinating big life events, good or bad, having tested for Elias on my 30th birthday.  But Neal and I were happy.  Eight weeks later, with severance (and health insurance coverage) officially over, I'm feeling much more stressed about the whole thing now, but the excitement of the pregnancy still somewhat tempers the crappy situation that is unemployment.  Two days later, however, I experienced some spotting, something I never experienced during my entire pregnancy with Elias.  In hindsight I'm guessing (and my ob/gyn agrees) that this was probably implantation bleeding, but because I'd taken that crazy early test and gotten a faint positive (and didn't think you could have a positive pregnancy test until after implantation), I feared the worst (chemical pregnancy, blighted ovum, etc.).  While the spotting only lasted the afternoon, I was on edge for several more days until I tested again and got another positive result, this time presenting a much darker line than the first.  Even so, I was extremely guarded about the whole thing until our first prenatal appointment around 7 weeks.  Seeing the heartbeat reassured me only slightly.  When I saw the heartbeat again at my 10 week appointment I started to breathe a little easier.  I don't remember being nearly this anxious with Elias.

Other things have been different, too.  While I never had to break my nearly decades long no-vomiting streak (the last time I threw up I was 16), I did have low-grade nausea every day until about mid-afternoon.  Prenatal vitamins made it worse so I opted for a regular multi-vitamin plus folic acid supplement for a few weeks until I started feeling better (around 10-11 weeks or so).  The fatigue I remember so well with Elias took a little while longer to present itself this time around but once it did it hit me like a wall.  I'm still pretty sleepy here and there during the day but I'm also not getting the best quality sleep lately so it's hard to say exactly why I'm more tired than usual.  Fatigue was one of those symptoms I've heard can be less extreme in 2nd pregnancies since you're already used to being more tired than you were before having kids.  And I think that's true to some extent.  I don't indulge in naps the way I did the first time, at least not yet.  But I do feel damn tired at some point most days.

The main difference between pregnancies, however, has been an early diagnosis of gestational diabetes.  Since I'm considered AMA this time (advanced maternal age, turning 35 a few months before the baby's due), my doctor recommended a number of tests in addition to the standard first trimester screening, including an early gestational diabetes screen.  The blood test I took measures your hemoglobin A1C, which calculates your average blood sugar level over the past three months.  Mine was 5.9%, which is just within the range for "increased risk" of diabetes.  There was much confusion and disappointment on my end, but after several messages and phone calls with my ob/gyn, nurse practitioner, and dietitian, I finally came to the understanding that, essentially, anything in the pre-diabetic range (5.7-6.4%) is gestational diabetes.  I've already modified my diet (no obvious sweets, no cold cereal or highly processed foods, no dairy/fruit first thing in the morning, etc.), am trying to be more consistent about getting in at least 30 minutes of "movement" a day (as it is I tend to have these bursts of 4 to 5 days of working out then nothing for 2 to 3 days), and as of today have started recording everything I eat in addition to checking my blood sugar levels four times each day.  With about a week and a half of data I'll meet with the perinatologist and dietitian again at the end of the month and go from there.  Hopefully I'll be able to control my blood sugar levels with diet and exercise alone but about half of women diagnosed with GD end up needing medication of some kind - either one of two pills or insulin injections.  Hopefully I don't fall into that category.  I'm cautiously optimistic since I was on the low end of the range but the fact that it's still so early (and the plancenta - the cause of a lot of these hormonal, insulin-blocking problems - has still got a lot of growing to do) worries me since it does tend to get worse as the pregnancy progresses.  And while I do have an increased risk now of developing permanent diabetes after pregnancy, most women are just fine within 6 to 12 weeks after delivery.  I figure if I can avoid sweets (not easy to do with my insatiable sweet tooth) for the next six months, surely some of this will become a lifetime change.  I just want to be able to indulge every once in awhile.  And I'm not sure what's more depressing - the thought of no sweets or no alcohol.  Because you better believe mama is already thinking about her first margarita post-partum!

The good news is that all of the other tests have come back normal.  We had our NT scan last Wednesday and that - the grand finale of the first trimester screening - was a huge relief.  Here's one of several images they captured from that ultrsound.

Here's another - this is my "tiny dancer" shot (look at those long legs!):

It's still a little surreal to me and I don't yet feel as connected to this little creature as I did so early on with Elias, but friends have reassured me that's normal the second time around.  What's interesting is that people treat you differently with baby #2 (and I'm guessing subsequent babies).  I remember once Elias was born and we were dealing with sleep issues, breastfeeding issues, and reflux (man, those first 6-7 months were brutal!), I wondered why nobody had told me just how difficult it really is!  And yet with baby #2 it's as if all bets are off.  People have shared all sorts of horrific details about their experiences with pregnancy #2, baby #2, how child #1 reacted, etc., none of which has been particularly helpful (insightful, yes, helpful, not really).  And yet I suppose I'm getting the honestly I felt was lacking the first time around.  For now, I'm just focused on getting through the next six months! And with everything else going on, I'm definitely tackling the second half of 2012 one day at a time.