sleep and the 7 week old

I know I shouldn't compare kids but every step of the way with Daphne, in large part thanks to this blog which triggers my memory of Elias at the same stages, I can't help but look/think back to what baby #1 was doing at the same time (and occasionally looking ahead to see what baby #2 might be doing in the weeks to come). I don't remember Elias having quite the textbook 6 to 8 week peak in typical newborn fussiness (his was perhaps more spread out, thanks to the reflux), but Daphne definitely has been experiencing it (well, let's hope it's the peak and she'll turn a corner any day now!). Similar to Elias, however, she gave us a great night of sleep on the 6 week mark, in bed by the time Elias was, around 8 p.m., and waking only twice to eat, after first a five- and then another four-hour stretch, with a final, very restless two hours of sleep before she was "up for the day."

That was followed by a fairly hellish week of incredibly fussy, almost inconsolable evenings, later bedtimes, and an increase in nighttime feedings. Initially I thought it might be the relatively mild reflux (relative to big brother) getting worse (as it very well might until the typical 4 month peak), but after the weekend it's clear she was at least in part reacting to her very first cold. It's tough being second-born with a preschooler for a big brother. All of us have been sick in the last few weeks so I guess it was inevitable that she'd get some form of the bug. Fortunately it only lasted about 3 days. A pink, watery eye prompted a visit to the pediatrician on Saturday (gotta love weekend hours!) but the doc was unconcerned as her lungs were clear and she had no fever. She got over it pretty quickly and has been much mellower the last couple of days. Evenings are still tough, though - at least, last night was. Every day I have (perhaps false) hope that that night will be different. She's teased us with a few nights like the one at the 6 week mark but for the most part our evenings involve tag teaming dinner, clean-up, bath(s) for one or both kids, occasional cluster feeding, a typically bedtime-resistant almost 5 year old finally getting in bed sometime between 7:30 and 8 and then an hour or two after that of finally getting Daphne to conk out. The late bedtime wouldn't bother me so much if she just wanted to be awake. She's clearly done for the day by about 7 p.m. lately but she just can't seem to settle down until much later. Once she's out her nights are not bad. She typically only wakes twice to eat with each stretch increasingly restless, but the first stretch of 4 to 5 hours is usually pretty solid. For that reason, even if she does conk out by or shortly after Eli's 8 p.m. bedtime, I don't dare stay up much after. In an 8 to 10 hour stretch I'm lucky to get 6 or 7 cobbled together hours of sleep. I don't mind the sleep deprivation so much but I do miss my evenings. As it is there's no break between daytime and nighttime shenanigans but I guess that goes with the territory, right?

once more, with guitar

In Daphne's one month update, I forgot to include a picture of her with the Guitar Hero guitar, as per the tradition we started with Elias. Here 'tis:

1 month

Being born in the unique month of February, Daphne hit both the 4 week and 1 month mark on Saturday. It's true what parents of 2+ say - not only is the transition from one to two pretty intense but it also goes by a lot faster than the first time. Her stats on Saturday were 11 pounds, 2 1/2 ounces, thanks to a baby scale I'm borrowing from a friend of a friend (easing my anxiety following our thankfully brief time in the "slow weight gain" category earlier in her first month). She's undeniably smiling now, with a fair amount of effort on our part. While Elias smiled at the "kissing fishes" in the bouncy seat, Daphne gives some of her best smiles to the elephant attached to the play mat. That, and big brother Elias. She immediately lights up whenever she sees him. He continues to be pretty darn adorable with her but has to be consistently reminded to be gentle, not get right in her face, not dangle things dangerously above her, etc. But so far, so good.

Otherwise, Daphne is nursing much better now than she was a couple of weeks ago, hence the steady weight gain. It's still a bit awkward to nurse in public but I'm told this gets better as the baby gets bigger (it never really did with Elias but then we weaned shortly after the 4 month mark, when I'm told it gets easier!). She's pretty floppy still so there's a lot of maneuvering that has to happen underneath a cover that doesn't want to stay in place! I started going to a free "baby & me" support group at the hospital where I delivered last week and there were a lot of bared breasts there. It dawned on me that at times in the Bay Area, a nursing cover will actually attract more attention than a little bare boob!

She continues to show some symptoms of reflux but still not to the point of Elias at this age. Because she seems particularly sensitive to my diet and after a few incidences of seeming to react to milk products in particular (cheesy lasagne, a milkshake shared with Eli, etc.), I first cut out obvious dairy but this past weekend cut out hidden dairy as well. I actually have a hunch it's totally coincidental but now that I've started I figure I might as well stick with it for the 3-4 weeks it can take for the milk protein to completely clear both my system and Daphne's. On the one hand, it might be nice to have an obvious cause to the fussiness and digestive discomfort which comes mostly at night (oh, the grunting!), but on the other hand, this diet is a drag. Nursing and otherwise caring for a newborn is hard enough; it would be nice to be able to eat whatever I want. Daytime meals and snacks are fine, if a bit boring after awhile since my options are somewhat limited, but dinners are tough. I'll stick it out until closer to the 2 month mark but so far, at least, we don't have a drastically different baby on our hands.

And she's certainly not fussy to the point of being "colicky", at least not yet, knock on wood. This may be more common baby fussiness with the mild reflux being a separate issue. At any rate, it should all clear within a few months. It's hard to be patient but I know, at the end of the day, that's really the only remedy to my stress and anxiety - to just be patient and ride out the newborn storm!