She's here! At last, Daphne Lynn arrived almost exactly one week ago, on Saturday, February 2nd, at 6:13 pm. 9 lbs., 5 oz., 22 inches long. It's been a whirlwind of a week, of course, and since I slept for the first hour or so of her current daytime nap (girl likes to sleep all day, party all night), I feel a little less guilty about sneaking in a quick blog post. Let's see how far I get... (edited today to add that, of course, this took me multiple sessions to finish).
Backing up a bit, I started experiencing some pre-labor symptoms earlier in the week, which surprised me a bit. I thought second babies were supposed to arrive much more quickly and bypass those days or even weeks of pre-labor symptoms. Nevertheless, I continued to make plans and attempt to get stuff done during my pre-baby "maternity leave". On Monday I spent most of the morning getting the car serviced and most of the afternoon at a prenatal check-up and non stress testing (NST) for the baby. All checked out so Daphne was given a few more days to hang out in utero. I was only measuring about 1 cm and 20-30% effaced on Monday but that didn't discourage me too much since things progressed slowly with Elias as well and yet, in the end, active labor went pretty quickly.
On Tuesday, I was still feeling pretty good - not too impatient and attempting to be productive. I'm not even sure I needed a daytime nap. Instead I prepped materials for Eli's annual school fundraiser and finished off the afternoon with a few other parents stuffing envelopes. That day I started having some spotting and cramping in addition to increased practice contractions primarily at night. My ob/gyn had given me two options for possible induction - Thursday, January 31st, or
next Thursday, February 7th. I was hoping for something in between and, still confident I might go on my own before, booked the latter option.
As of Wednesday, Neal began working from home, just in case labor came on suddenly and progressed quickly (since it takes him about an hour to get home from work). What I did Wednesday through Friday is a bit of a blur already. I continued to tackle my "if I have time" to do list but I do remember by about Thursday feeling a bit of that impatient unmotivation kicking in, almost a little depressed that the baby was clearly so content to hang out in utero indefinitely. Every day I tried to make sure the house was generally clean and any critical errands were run (something that bothered me in the first days of Eli's life - with the house a mess, the fridge bare, etc.). I guess in hindsight that might have been that final burst of energy to sufficiently feather the nest! And as impatient as I began feeling, I do remember being just a little bit happy that on Thursday evening I was able to watch the series finale of 30 Rock. Earlier in the day I cleaned the bathroom while listening to a hypnobirthing MP3 a friend had sent. The baby had passed yet another NST that afternoon and that night the practice contractions heated up, resulting in a pretty poor night of sleep. I slept most of Friday morning but again got a little burst of energy in the afternoon during which I even managed an hour of prenatal yoga. After that I slept until Neal fetched Elias from preschool once he was done with work. Earlier on Friday L&D had called to offer an earlier induction date - this time for Tuesday, February 5th. I took it and booked yet another check-up and NST for Monday, but felt increasingly confident I wouldn't need to be induced.
Friday night the early labor-like contractions continued, very sporadically, very manageable and never closer than 15 minutes apart. That morning we did our usual Saturday morning thing. I even swept and mopped the kitchen and dining areas as I almost always do on Saturday mornings. I made sure to take a nice, long shower and plucked my eyebrows (as if I care now that they are already completely unplucked). Neal took Elias to the park and it was while they were there, around 11:30 that morning that the contractions became a bit strong and more regular, coming on every 7 to 8 minutes and lasting on average about a minute. I kept track while watching Income Property on HGTV. I kept texting updates to my friend Meredith, who had offered to watch Elias during our hospital stay, Eli in turn very excited about his first sleepover with her two boys. When Neal returned home with Elias I was pretty certain things were ramping up, and while not terribly hungry, managed to eat Eli's second half of PB&J sandwich and a few apple slices. Something about eating lunch seemed to really get things in gear. I started keeping track again in bed since standing up seemed to create shorter, slightly less intense but more frequent contractions and a ton of pressure and general period-like crampiness very low in my uterus. It was hard to rest in between which I felt was critical. Between 1:30 and 3 the contractions went from 7 to 8 minutes apart to 4 to 5 minutes apart. We called L&D triage around 2, at which point they told us to keep track for another hour and call again. A bit before 3 we called again but I was ready to head in, regardless of what they told me. I could tell the contractions were gettin' real, if you know what I mean. Our friend Jef came over to hang out with Elias while he finished his movie (Tinkerbell, by the way - going through a little bit of a fairy phase). Eli did really well when we left. I was completely unsure of how he'd react when we went to the hospital especially considering when that would be was a total mystery until it happened. He did seem a bit concerned, or confused maybe, about why I was clearly in pain and a little out of it, but I tried to pull myself together enough to give him a big hug and kiss and reassure him that this was all part of the process. As usual, the things I fret about he totally rolls with.
We got in to L&D triage around 3:45. It was 4:10 before a doctor checked me - probably the main thing that bothered me about my birth experience. The amount of time it took and paperwork and logistics from one step to another was maddening. I know a lot of parents probably head in too early so I understand why they'd suggest I go back home when that first check showed I was only 3 cm dilated. The other option she gave me was to "walk the halls" - it wasn't a set number they were going for necessarily (although she did mention closer to 4 or 5 cm was typical) but she just wanted to see some progress - further dilation, water breaking, etc. After about a half-hour of pacing the triage area we were in and breathing through contractions (I couldn't even make it out of the room to actually walk down the hall, the contractions were so painful already), Neal timed a few and they were still only lasting a minute or so but coming on every 2 to 3 minutes. The triage nurse could tell things were intensifying and I insisted I be admitted since I wanted an epidural as soon as possible. While I was sort of on the fence about the possibility of an unmedicated birth with Elias, and ultimately got an epidural, I had no doubt I wanted one with this baby.
They began the process of admitting me and the doctor came in for a second check. 4 cm and I was insisting I be admitted. Oh, and by the way, tell the epidural team! As they helped me out of bed and into the wheelchair my water broke, which was sort of exciting but helped to intensify contractions even more. Getting out of the wheelchair and into an L&D bed was excruciatingly painful. And I know they always tell you to move around, change positions, etc., but the only way I was able to breathe through the contractions and relax in between was laying down, holding Neal's hand on one side and oddly, running the fingers of my other hand through my hair. My only technique was focusing on exhaling and counting the number of breaths. The early contractions only needed half a dozen to maybe ten deep breaths but the later contractions demanded twenty or more faster breaths. Even so there was something comforting about knowing each time it would be over in a number of breaths. I think that allowed me to get through most contractions without totally losing control (although there was a bit of that toward the end, too).
At any rate, when I got to the L&D room they began the paperwork (again with the paperwork!) for the epidural and started me on an IV since I was, mysteriously (I thought I was drinking plenty of water throughout the day) dehydrated. The nurse had a hard time with the IV and Neal later told me there was a fair amount of bleeding and she was busy cleaning it up off the floor instead of tending to the IV itself. They insisted I be better hydrated before getting the epidural (something about it affecting my blood pressure, I think), so they pumped me with a couple of bags of IV fluid and in the meantime offered me Fentenol. I had heard mixed things about Fentenol, not getting it with Elias (since I received the blessed epidural after only 20 minutes or so of Pitocin-induced contractions). But at that point I was willing to take just about anything to "take the edge off." And that it did. She told me as she was administering it that it would feel like I'd had a couple of drinks. After nine months of abstaining from alcohol, this description sounded amazing. It did seem to allow me to continue to breathe through the contractions, without feeling like I was hyperventilating or kind of losing control at the peak. I began feeling tingly all over, which one of the nurses explained was probably because I was hyperventilating. She encouraged me to slow down my breathing. I tried my best to oblige.
When the epidural team finally came in it just so happened that they lost the baby's heartbeat on the monitor after a couple of particularly strong contractions. They fussed with the monitor and my position - getting me to turn from my back to hands and knees - and I believe inserted an internal monitor. Baby had a heartbeat, thankfully, but it was slowing down considerably, under 100 beats per minute. Neal later told me that some sort of emergency button was then pushed and in a few seconds at least half a dozen extra people were suddenly in the room, telling Neal I might need full sedation for an emergency c-section during which he wouldn't be able to be present. Right around this time I started feeling that uncontrollable urge to push you hear about. I was in denial for a few seconds, incredulous that I was about to have this baby sans epidural. But when I heard her say all that, even in a bit of a fog, I knew I needed to speak up and attempt to push this baby out. Given the green light to push I did so a couple of times on my hands and knees and then they flipped me onto my back again. I'm not sure why - I think perhaps I was pushing the baby out too quickly or they couldn't attend to what turned out to be a loose bit of cord around the baby's neck. At any rate, it took I think just one or two more pushes on my back and baby Daphne was born. They immediately whisked her away to the warming bassinet, which understandably freaked me out. But even right away they insisted, when I kept asking, that she was okay. While she did have a weak cry and wasn't totally blue, it took them a couple of minutes to get her really breathing/crying - with a little bit of oxygen from a mask held above her face - and her color from purplish to nice and pink. Her initial apgar score was a 7 but the 5 minute re-test was a 9. Phew.
Finally, while they continued to work on getting the placenta out and dealing with a second degree tear (I know, I spare no details for this blog), they placed her on my chest. My initial reaction was that she didn't look at all like Elias but as we've gotten to stare at her for hours on end this week sometimes I think she looks exactly like him, especially while sleeping. Which is crazy because it feels like we're raising him all over again! That said, when her eyes are open she does have some distinct differences. While Eli tends to resemble my side of the family from the nose up, and has Neal's mouth almost exactly, Daphne I think will look a little more like Neal in the eyes and possibly nose (although they all have adorable button noses at this stage, don't they?) and more like me in the mouth and chin area. She's got a decent head of very dark hair, which will likely shed/fade, I'd imagine, and typical blue/gray eyes, but much darker than I remember Eli's being. So perhaps she'll have my hazel eyes over her Daddy's blues. But, really, it's much too early to say, just fun to guess how she'll change and grow.
Anyway, my opportunity to shower for the day is almost up so I'll close this for now and write more about week one (that flew by!) later, as well as - eventually - getting around to updating this blog on all news Elias! In the meantime, here's a picture of Daphne taken Sunday morning, just hours old.
